Ask questions.

Show people you care about them.

Don't worry about sharing a "better" story or "better" experience.

Be you.

Create your life.

What is your favorite way to relax and unwind?

This became an icebreaker question at the start of a recent meeting.

In addition to pondering my response, this question made me consider the reason we might want to relax and unwind in the first place.

Certainly I feel it helpful to relax and unwind after a busy day filled with meetings as well as after a stressful week.

I got to thinking that it's helpful even after a "regular" day or week, not only on those days when I feel a need to decompress.

There are times I need to simply transition from one mindset to another.

It can serve as a way to prep for the weekend or even get ready for the upcoming work week.

For me, my favorite way to relax and unwind includes exercise and/or music.

Exercise is all about the movement and could be anything that gets me sweating.

Music depends on the mood I'm in and what I need. Sometimes it's loud and upbeat, other times quiet and slow. It might be with words or instrumental.

Exercise and music do it for me.

Others in my recent meeting reported that what works for them includes book reading a book, meditation, movement, yoga, getting outdoors, taking a bath, and watching a movie.

When do you feel the desire to relax and unwind?

What is your favorite way to do it?

Create your life.

🍨

I was acutely aware and this awareness felt different to me somehow.

During a walk to the office this week I heard only ONE car honk its horn the entire 25 minute walk!

And that occurred with roughly 5 minutes left in my walk.

My office is located in Chicago and hearing car horns honking is quite common.

Perhaps even too common.

Which is why this car horn caught my attention and made me notice that I had not heard the sound of car horns until that moment.

Lots of possible reasons exist for why this might be the case.

Had I tuned out the other car horns that morning?

That thought got me wondering, what other "car horns" do we hear around us every day or maybe do not hear because we tune them out?

What else becomes part of our environment, blending in with all the other noise and goings-on?

I want to pay more attention to the things that might be blending in.

Like car horns.

Create your life.

🍨

"That feeling in your bones."

Listen to what your body tells you.

Your body, including the emotion you might feel, provides a lot of guidance.

Your body knows way more than your mind might want to accept.

Your mind is the source of logic.

Your body is the source of wisdom.

The challenge is to tap into the depth of wisdom your body holds.

What if you were to pay attention to it?

Pay attention to the:

👉 tightness that arises in your throat when you are about to embark on something big

👉 warmth in your core when you flash your smile to a friend or perhaps even a stranger

👉 warmth in your core when you help someone or someone helps you

👉 tingling in your fingers or toes when you experience excitement

Trust yourself and the wisdom your body stows.

Listen to your body, not your mind.

Your body knows what's important.

Create your life.

🍨

P.S. Do you have your One Word chosen for this year? If not, send me a message. I want to help you get more in 2024! My word is Acceptance. What's yours?

🙌

P.P.S. I recently had the honor of being a podcast guest on Expansive Intimacy with Jim Young. If you want simple, day-to-day ideas to increase connection and intimacy with yourself and those around you, give it a listen and maybe even try an idea yourself! You can find the link in the comments of this LinkedIn post:

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/thecenteredcoach_newyearnewyou-worryless-expansiveintimacy-activity-7146544854481715202-WEhM

☝️

A recent "adventure" required a bit of self-awareness.

And my desire for saying I'm sorry.

And maybe a little acceptance, too (my one word to live by for this year).

🙏

As the song by the music group Chicago says, "it's hard for me to say I'm sorry."

I find that's often true and yet saying I'm sorry often provides freedom.

It might even provide more freedom for the person saying those words than the one hearing them.

The "lighter mental load" was at least part of my motivation to apologize.

I wanted to stop thinking and worrying about what happened. I wanted to move on and enjoy the rest of my day.

I apologized and I believe we both received the grace to leave it behind.

Yes, it is sometimes hard for me to say I'm sorry.

When I do, it feels liberating.

How do you feel when saying I'm sorry?

Create your life.

🍨

P.S. Do you have your One Word chosen that will give you more in 2024? If not, send me a message and I can help you!

🙌

P.P.S. I recently had the honor of being a podcast guest on Expansive Intimacy with Jim Young. If you want simple, day-to-day ideas to increase connection and intimacy with yourself and those around you, give it a listen and maybe even try an idea yourself! You can find the link in the comments of this LinkedIn post:

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/thecenteredcoach_newyearnewyou-worryless-expansiveintimacy-activity-7146544854481715202-WEhM

☝️

The start of a new year brings a sense of freshness and chance for new beginnings.

As promised last week, my word for 2024 is ACCEPTANCE. I want more acceptance of myself as a perfectly imperfect being. I also want more acceptance of those around me. With more acceptance will come more grace, more understanding, more compassion, and more love, for myself and others.

At this time of year, in addition to choosing my word, I like to reflect on the song lyrics from "Everything is Possible Now" by Clouds and Thorns.

As this new year gets rolling, these words seem particularly appropriate.

This song's upbeat tempo feels good and the words energize my soul.

Everything IS possible now.

👍

"As time rolls on, I won't let life leave me behind

I can see the future coming

And man it's such a sight

But time will waste me

if I don't stop wasting time

Let's dream out loud

'Cause all we know

Has been turned upside down

Everything is possible now"

🎶

What possibilities exist for you today, this week, this year?

Create your life.

🍨

Do you want help to identify YOUR one word? Send me a message! Everything is possible for those who ask.

What word will give you more in 2024?

☝️

What if you could have more in 2024?

💡

I invite you to start the new year by choosing just One Word that will provide you with clarity, meaning, purpose, and focus throughout the next year. Skip the resolutions that become forgotten within days or weeks (80% of them gone by February). One Word is simple and powerful.

🎆 You will become more aware of your word in everything you do.

🎆 You will benefit personally, professionally, and even while playing.

🎆 You will build new habits focused around your word.

Resolve to live this year on purpose, not by accident!

Choose One Word that will stick the entire year!

My word in 2023 was intimacy. I wanted an expanded version of intimacy, not what you think of in the bedroom (although that's okay, too). I sought deeper relationships at work, home, play, and with myself. I wanted more connection and closeness, to journey with others and not alone, to touch people's lives and in turn have them touch mine. I desired more richness in my life.

Next week, I will share my word for the new year.

What will YOUR word be that will give you more in 2024?

Create your life.

🍨

What did you concoct during the last 12 months?

As the year winds down, consider taking a few moments to reflect.

What have you created this year?

👍

Please allow me to share some of what my #creativity included:

🎵 Investing in myself and beginning to go to the fitness center an average of four days a week

🎵 Cooking new dinner recipes and preparing food in different ways

🎵 Earning by ICF PCC coaching credential (500+ coaching hours)

🎵 Sharing #gratitude with my wife at the end of each day

🎵 Posting a sign on my desk when in the office that includes my name, asks who they are, and suggests a conversation starter card if they have time

🎵 Continuing to write #ThursdayThoughts every week (this is #243)

This "year in review" always reminds me that life's what you make it.

Check out these lyrics sung by Graham Colton:

🎵

"You can test the water, You might as well jump in.

And we don't know where we'll end up, So you might as well begin.

Memories you're making, You frame inside in your heart.

In the middle of a nowhere, Is a somewhere you can start.

So go and write your song, The world will sing along.

Oh a-oh a-oh, Life's what you make it.

Oh a-oh a-oh, It's yours for the taking.”

🎶

What are you making with your life?

Are you living a life that aligns with your values and gives you fulfillment?

Do you make intentional choices about where to spend your time and energy?

What does your life balance look and feel like?

⚖️

Perhaps more important than looking back is to look toward the next 12 months.

What song are you writing?

What are you ready to start?

Create your life.

🍨

This is quickly becoming one of the more overused phrases of our current day.

People have said it to me, especially in a "see you later" sort of way as we part company.

I hear many people say it to others.

What sparked my #thursdaythoughts for this week? I heard a person near me say this phrase after they were handed their order over the counter. I even heard it in the street from a complete stranger to two others passing by.

I generally like this phrase as a substitute for the oft overused "thank you."

I don't like that the meaning of "I appreciate you" is getting watered down, similar to "thank you" getting watered down because of it's overuse.

My plea is that we start to convey our appreciation using different, more descriptive words. Perhaps share what it is we appreciate about the other person. "I appreciate you for your thoughtfulness" or "I appreciate you for fulfilling my order" or "I appreciate you for <give your reason>."

Be intentional with your words. Make it meaningful to the other person. This will carry more value for the one you appreciate and for you.

I appreciate you for reading my Thursday Thought this week. ❤️

Create your life.

🍨

Go ahead! Talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself.

This one is hard for me, especially on days when negativity is all around. If we listen, we get caught up in the negativity and doubt ourselves. We let our inner critic's voice get louder and might even believe what it says is true. It's all lies.

When we talk to ourselves, we get to focus on the positive and act with courage instead of fear. We talk from our inner authority, the part of us most connected to what we want, who we are, and who we want to be. We connect to our sage.

So, go ahead and tell yourself how great you are and the great things you will accomplish! That will become your truth. You will make that happen.

Create your life.

When faced with a challenge, or an opportunity, which dog do you feed?

Jon Gordon writes in his book, The Positive Dog, "We all have a positive-versus-negative battle going on each day. Every moment and every situation presents to us an opportunity to see and experience the positive or the negative."

"We can feed the positive dog or the negative dog inside of us, and whichever one we feed, grows. So feed the positive dog."

👍

Focus on the positive. Experience the positive. Seek to find the gift presented through each opportunity.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Which dog do you feed?

Which part of you do you want to grow?

Feed the positive dog.

Create your life.

🍨

I am grateful for family and friends, health, smiles, laughter, sunshine, and family gatherings (even when they are virtual).

Take a moment today and reflect. 

We have much for which to be thankful.

Create your life.

Who is your hero?

If you are like me, you might have many heroes.

I recently lost one of those I would consider a hero.

My father-in-law passed away last week.

He was a hero to me.

I admired

👍 how easily he could laugh at himself

👍 how easily he could laugh at most everything

👍 his easy-going smile

👍 his ability to not take himself too seriously

👍 how he could find joy in the smallest things

👍 his incredible generosity

👍 his affinity for ice cream

I never shared these things with him. Now I can't.

I find it hard to tell others what I appreciate about them, how I value them.

Maybe that stems from my challenge to tell myself what I appreciate about me.

We need heroes in our lives, whether they know their role or not.

We need people we admire, that inspire us, that set an example.

If we're lucky, we get to serve as a hero for others.

Our heroes help set our own course.

Why is someone your hero?

What can you do to integrate their good parts into who you want to become?

Create your life.

🍨

This world is messed up. And yet, there is also a lot of good in the world.

We can all help to make our world a good place or at least a better place. A kind place.

We can all spread kindness.

World Kindness Day is celebrated each year on November 13th. Add it to your calendar!

✅

Two of my favorite ways to infuse kindness into someone's day:

🙂 Smile

🚪 Hold the door open

A few additional ways to #inspirekindness:

❤️ Write a note and leave it for someone to find

❤️ Practice gratitude

❤️ Tell someone you love them

❤️ Give someone a hug

❤️ Buy coffee for a stranger

❤️ Help a classmate with their homework

There are SO many ways! How do YOU #spreadkindness? Do you have a favorite? Please share!

Create your world. Make it one based on kindness.

Create your life.

Be kind.

❤️

I'm a card carrying member.

Not the infamous charge card.

I'm talking about the Procrastination Club!

It's right up there with the Perfectionist Club, which I am also a member, even as a recovering perfectionist.

For example, almost every week, I manage to put off writing my Thursday Thoughts until Wednesday night.

I tell myself this enables me to write about things that happen when they happen during the week.

While this is often true (I like sharing what I recently observe and think), this procrastination also puts a strain on me. It limits my sleep, causes some stress and anxiety, and creates unneeded pressure to get "the thing" done.

Does this resonate with you?

The unfortunate outcome is that I often produce fairly high-quality results when suffering from procrastination.

This usually serves to feed my inner critic and negative ego: "you cannot produce anything good unless you wait until the last minute."

That's a lie and also seemingly true at the same time.

I wish I had this figured out, how to avoid putting off what I know needs to be done.

👉 Preparing a presentation.

👉 Studying for an exam.

👉 Scheduling an appointment.

👉 Rescheduling an appointment.

👉 Caulking the shower.

Sure, there are only so many hours in a day.

Yes, I could prioritize better so the important items get done before the rest.

It sure is easier said than done.

When I procrastinate less, when I do "the thing" sooner than later, I feel more relaxed and less overwhelmed.

And, the results still have high quality.

It comes down to making choices.

Like so many things in life, when we are intentional about where we point our attention, we get more of what we want. We can get things done.

Make your choice.

Create your life.

🍨