Don’t go chasing waterfalls.

Why not?!

What is it about waterfalls that makes them so intriguing? Why do we seek them out as a destination?

While on vacation last week, we explored multiple instances of water flowing over a vertical drop.

What we witnessed was...

Natural beauty.

Constant motion.

Power.

Cleansing force with life-giving and life-taking qualities.

A relaxing effect.

Improved mood and mental health.

A detox from our urban lifestyle.

A way to explore the world around.

Go ahead, chase that waterfall and the next and the next.

Receive the benefits associated with witnessing natural beauty that cannot be ignored.

Create your life.

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This sign appeared in a bakery I recently visited with my wife.

What a great recommendation!

The cinnamon rolls were amazing. So were the other baked goods we enjoyed from this bakery.

Being kinder to yourself is also amazing.

It made me wonder, how might I do this? How might others also do this?

A few ideas:

👍 Treat yourself the way you treat others

👍 Talk to yourself less critically and with more love

👍 Visit Kristin Neff’s website about self-compassion

👍 Smile when you look in the mirror

👍 Give yourself a hug

Being kinder to yourself will help you live with more fulfillment.

Definitely order the cinnamon rolls.

Create your life.

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It was October.

No song reference this week, just a different month from which the memories came (a brief few weeks apart).

Music was not involved at all really (except perhaps my car ride).

I'm cherishing the memories created on a guys weekend when 10 of us that went to college together found - check that, made - the time to get together and enjoy each other's company for a long weekend.

Some of us had not see each other in many years (at least since graduation or someone's wedding).

We tasted whiskey on Kentucky's Bourbon Trail.

We laughed so hard and so long that our cheeks began to hurt.

We mixed and enjoyed homemade Old Fashioneds.

We attended a football game and shared our collective disgust at the outcome.

We shared memories and created more.

These are the times when we will look back and appreciate that we were able to spend some time together.

Look back and laugh (some more) at the goofy things said and done.

I'm struck by the impact of our shared experiences.

As I get older and grow my wisdom, I'm captivated by a desire to seek and create more memories than obtain more goods.

What about you?

Do you seek to create more memories?

Do you look for opportunities to share an experience with others?

Seek out occasions - make time.

Treasure the moments.

Create your life.

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“Does anyone really know what time it is? Does anyone really care…about time?” (Thank you for the lyrics, Chicago.)

We might care if/when we don't feel like we have enough.

Or perhaps when we don't “take” what we do have.

This week, my life was pretty busy and I didn't find nor take time to write.

So, I'm giving myself permission to spend only a little bit of the precious thing we call time.

This week, I chose to spend time creating memories (see my thought from last week) and chasing dreams.

Create your life.

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It was September.

It was the song by Earth, Wind, and Fire being played live by the cover band on the mall outside the Benedicta Arts Center.

It was a time to dance with my daughter like there was nobody watching (pretty much because there wasn't).

My daughter willingly allowed me to lead and do a little swinging to the music.

We were dancin' in September.

We created a memory.

When the song popped up on my playlist a few days later, it immediately took me to that time and place.

I recalled our brief and laughter-filled moment on the sidewalk, the connection between us, the fondness in my heart.

Music has an amazing way of helping us recall the sights, sounds, smells, and overall experience of something captured in our mind.

I added the song to a modern day version of the mix tape - the streaming playlist.

If you're like me, there are many songs that conjure up memories.

What is one song that pulls memories to the surface for you when you hear it play?

Play it and relive a moment in time.

Perhaps share the song with someone.

Memories are wonderful to hold and nobody can take them away.

Sometimes they are associated with music. Sometimes they are not. They settle in our minds either way.

Cherish the memories.

Create your life.

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Do you remember the Heinz Ketchup commercial?

Featuring a song by Carly Simon, the "Anticipation" commercial talked about "the taste that's worth the wait."

I wait with great anticipation to visit my college daughter this weekend. The rest of the family and I will head her way for Family Weekend at her school. We will see her in 3D for the first time since dropping her off just over a month ago.

There have been phone and video calls and text messages. Nothing can replace seeing her in person.

We have never spent this much time away from her. And this is only the beginning of the inevitable separation that occurs between a parent and their child. It's a natural progression as our kids get older.

I look forward to giving (and receiving) a great, big hug. 🤗

I look forward to the smiles and laughter. 😁

I look forward to simply being together for however long she will tolerate us. 🤪

It has not been overly long and is definitely worth the wait, much like a fresh bottle of ketchup.

What do you anticipate?

What is worth the wait?

Create your life.

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I failed.

Well, I didn't pass, which amounts to a fail.

I took an exam to earn another coaching credential and came up short of the passing score.

I knew immediately that I would re-take the exam.

There was a time when this result would have crushed me. I would have stewed about it for days. My inner critic would have destroyed me, telling me how *I* was a failure.

That's a lie, of course.

Why was this failure different?

Self-care.

The impact of not passing was significantly reduced, even eliminated, because of my recent self-care.

My self-care was primarily exercise.

A few months ago, I made a commitment to, and investment in, myself.

My consistency over the last several months created a level of resiliency I did not expect.

Consistent self-care helps us to be more resilient when life's inevitable mountains rise up in front of us.

How do you practice self-care?

👍 Exercise?

👍 Meditation?

👍 Reading?

👍 Time away from work?

👍 A movie with friends?

👍 Massage?

👍 Better sleep?

👍 Better eating?

👍 Getting outside?

👍 Cooking at home?

👍 A walk around the block?

👍 A hot bath?

👍 Saying "yes" to yourself?

Look for small ways you might incorporate self-care into your daily routine.

Look for small ways that enable you to grow, enjoy life, and thrive.

And perhaps become more resilient when life tosses a challenge or "failure" your way.

Create your life.

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The news stings for those leaving and those staying.

My employer decided a reduction in force was necessary, an action not unexpected, but still quite hard.

Some people with whom I have become close are leaving. I am staying.

Things are going to change for everyone. Some more than others.

At times like this, we all need someone to provide support and assistance, to listen and not judge. Someone on our side.

Are you wondering what comes next?

Maybe you are also wondering, what you want your future to be, what's important, how do you take time for yourself, or how do you provide support to others?

Do you want to press a "reset" button? What does "reset" even mean?

Whatever questions exist, I want to help.

Whether you are leaving or staying, I'm a coach in your corner.

I can help you find answers and discern what comes next.

If not me, I can connect you with others. Please reach out to someone and have a conversation.

You do not have take this journey alone.

Create your life.

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I classify this as another one of the "lost phrases" in our day-to-day interactions.

It's another phrase we could say more often (recently, I wrote about "please" and "thank you").

For the rest of today, notice how often you or someone else says something other than "you're welcome" in response to "thank you" or a similar expression.

Many of us (myself included) simply reply by saying

"no problem"

"you bet"

"anytime"

"no worries"

"don't mention it"

Or the ubiquitous "yup"

What other responses do you hear (or say)?

Our communication tools often provide automatic response options to an email or text message that include only alternate responses to "you're welcome."

I have been making a conscious effort to use the words "you're welcome" when the situation calls for it in verbal or written communication.

I believe saying "you're welcome" is a sign of a good leader (which is all of us!) when those words are said in response to "thank you."

After you notice the frequency of alternate responses today, I ask you - I challenge you - to say "you're welcome" when someone thanks you.

Try it as an experiment.

What might you learn?

Create your life.

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I always knew the day would come.

The day when I need to "let go" and send her off on her own.

It's here!

My "little girl" is going off to college and starting the next chapter in her life.

I feel sadness and excitement all at the same time.

Life will change for all of us. There will be a gap. That brings a bit of sadness.

She will learn more inside and outside the classroom. She will also learn more about herself. That brings more than a bit of excitement. It borders on joy!

We have prepared her well. Now it's her turn to spread her wings even wider and fly.

I take comfort in knowing she's ready.

My heart feels expansive.

The day for which we've waited is here.

Time for her to continue to create her life.

❤️

It all boils down to asking questions.

I find myself coming back to curiosity as the core for so many of our interactions with other people.

I've been traveling recently for work, about once a month.

This week, I struck up conversations with people sitting next to me at a brewery on two different days. (If you didn't know, I am a big beer geek. I'm also interested in other people. And, my word for this year is intimacy. Hmmmm.)

How do I engage?

I ask questions.

Not superficial questions about getting caught in the rain (yeah, that happened to me on one of the days) or whether the local baseball team was at home or on the road (they were on the road).

I ask questions about the other person and what they find interesting.

How do I know what they find interesting? Yup, I ask questions. 😉

The exploration of another person creates connection. It creates a common bond through conversation. It creates intimacy.

What if YOU asked more questions?

You don't have to talk with strangers. (Hmmm, what if you did?)

What if you set as a goal to ask one person three questions in your next conversation? Maybe your coworker, partner, child, or a friend.

Commit to asking meaningful questions. Start with one question and come up with the next question based on what the other person says.

Explore what they find interesting.

Make a deeper connection than usual.

Discover what happens when you ask questions.

Create your life.

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When someone passes on from this earth, I often wish their loved ones a bit of peace.

Not necessarily what comes with wanting peace and quiet, although that might be desirable, too.

I want them to feel a bit of tranquility, relaxation, stillness, and harmony.

Perhaps enjoy a bit of privacy, solitude, and silence.

Definitely encounter calmness in their mind, body, heart, and soul.

Maybe even benefit from a bit of acceptance.

My aunt recently passed away after a battle with cancer.

She was a wife, mother, grandmother, sister, friend, and much more.

Her loved ones miss her dearly.

Other than believing she's joy filled in the next world, we must seek our own peace in this world.

❤️

When have you sought peace for yourself or others?

What does that peace look like for you?

I believe peace helps us keep going.

Wishing others a bit of peace might help them to keep going, too.

A simple desire with potentially meaningful impact.

Wishing you peace.

Create your life.

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I recently saw Andy Grammer perform live.

He is such a fantastic performer!

His ability to entertain provides enthusiastic energy for watchers and listeners.

Watching him live - and preparing for the experience - I became even more aware of the messages he conveys through his music.

Every. Single. Song.

🎶

"Now there is a dream that I was sold

Just get all you can before you get old

So I bought it all and took out a loan

But now that I'm here, I got nothing to show

I don't wanna be 85, singing

'Oh, no, I think I missed it, I was chasing money'

I don't wanna be 85, singing

'Oh, no, I got a big house, but my heart is ugly'"

-from "85" by Andy Grammer

🎶

"I want to be someone who's not swayed by opinions

Be me authentically without the apologies

And want my heart to soar without being insecure

And point out what's wrong with me

'Cause sometimes subconsciously

Yeah, I can be mean in my mind

Beat myself up all the time with awful thoughts

And I can eat myself alive

I'm gonna try, it's gonna be an awkward talk, but

I love you, I don't say it enough

I love who you are, who you've become

Don't know why I cannot hear it

'Less it comes from someone else

But I'ma find a way to finally feel it

When I say it to myself"

-from "Love Myself" by Andy Grammer

🎶

"Pressure pushed me to the edge, she worked me to the bone

And jealousy, she lied to me, said I needed things I don't

Shame, she had a way to make me hate myself inside

But I found joy in my life"

-from "Joy" by Andy Grammer

🎶

His mostly upbeat tempos and catchy riffs certainly help with my enjoyment. I ended the concert night with a newfound respect for his story-telling and ability to provide me with positive fuel to inspire me and carry into my life.

❤️

The above lyrics inspire me to:

👍 see the bigger picture and stop chasing money (I bought the dream, too)

👍 stop beating myself up and choose to love myself more (as a recovering perfectionist, this is HARD)

👍 look for more joy in my life (it's there for the finding)

🎶

Where do you find positive fuel?

Is it music? Books? Nature? Meditation? Prayer?

Use that positive fuel to inspire, to identify what you want, to take your next step forward, to consider your next action.

It's hard sometimes. You gotta keep your head up. (Thanks, Andy!)

Provide positive fuel for your brain.

Create your life.

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A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the "magic" word.

Please.

Something else we should say more often: Thank You.

These two words convey an appreciation for something someone says or does.

They serve as acknowledgement to let another person know you "saw" what they did or said.

They might even pave a path to receive something similar in the future.

Could be verbal or a simple nod of the head.

Maybe its written.

Perhaps it includes a description of the reason for your gratitude.

It should always be sincere.

Think about the last time you said "thank you" to someone.

Maybe better, when did someone say "thank you" to you?

How did that make you feel?

Make a point to say these words more often today.

Notice how it makes you feel and imagine what's happening for the receiver.

Thank you for reading this Thursday Thoughts message. 🙂

Create your life.

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"Failure we can do alone. Success always takes help." --Simon Sinek

💡

Why is it hard to ask for and/or receive help?

I believe at least part of the reason is socialization. We condition each other to look away when help appears and sometimes outright reject it.

I find it hard to ask for help sometimes.

Especially as a man, I feel a need to know the answers, to figure out a solution, and go it alone.

What a bunch of hogwash!

I'm proud to say that I've been getting better over the years at asking for and receiving help from others.

Perhaps that shift comes from the extra wisdom I've gained over the years.

That extra wisdom makes me more conscious of my need for connection with others. I am able to create more with others than I could on my own.

It what situation might you benefit from asking for and receiving help?

When might you benefit from more connection and creativity from working with others?

Who can assist and join you on your journey?

Ask for help.

Receive help.

Offer help.

We're stronger together.

Create your life.

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