"We're not getting older, we're getting wiser."

I remember hearing that from my grandmother when I was young.

Later, my mom would say the same thing.

Earlier this week, I caught myself repeating it to a friend who was lamenting an upcoming birthday:

"How did we ever get to be this old…?"

First off, we're not that old.

Second, I really believe age is just a number.

Sure, our bodies take longer to bounce back.

But we carry a lot of wisdom between our ears - and it's meant to be shared.

Like many parenting moments, I find it amusing when words tumble out of my mouth that I once heard growing up.

What phrases or sayings do you remember from your grandmother, other family members, friends, or colleagues?

Do you find yourself repeating them now that you're getting wiser?

Create your life.

🍨

Waypoint 315 (Y7 W3)

Earlier this week, I returned to one of my favorite happy places - Lurie Garden in Chicago’s Millennium Park.

Even on a gray, cloudy day, it offered the kind of peace I can count on.

Nestled in the middle of a bustling city, this garden is a quiet refuge where I get to slow down.

Spring is just beginning to wake up.

Tiny buds poking through the soil, early flower blooms starting to open, hints of color emerging.

Roughly three more weeks until the garden will be bursting like the picture below from almost this time last year.

What makes this place so meaningful to me?

It is not just its beauty.

It is what it invites me to do.

Breathe.

Pause.

Notice.

I often listen to a meditation when I visit, letting the sounds of the city fade into the background as I reconnect with the rhythm of nature.

I can find stillness in the middle of skyscrapers and sirens.

Lurie Garden reminds me that peace doesn’t require isolation.

Peaceful moments can exist side by side with movement and noise.

That contrast is part of the magic.

Do you have a happy place like Lurie Garden?

A spot where your shoulders relax, your breath deepens, and your thoughts settle?

Create your life.

🍨

P.S. Lurie Garden is 2.5 acres of Chicago's Millennium Park dedicated to eco-friendly botanical landscaping with city views. (Thank you, Google Maps, for the description.)

Waypoint 314 (Y7 W2)

Chapter Seven begins!

👍

Ever notice how easy it is to focus on what you’re not good at?

The better part of my life has been spent seeking perfection. I often focused on - heck, I still do - what I didn’t do well or where I could improve. The pursuit is exhausting.

As a recovering perfectionist, it’s hard not to notice the chinks in the armor.

But in recent years, I’ve tried to shift my focus toward what I do well. Like:

👉 Identifying flavors in a great meal or a “barley pop” 🍺

👉 Discovering music that moves me

👉 Fixing or building just about anything

👉 Connecting with people

👉 Creating and holding space for listening and sharing

Of course, I could make a list of things I want to do differently, too.

What about you? Where do you tend to focus your attention?

Let’s choose to focus on our strengths—not our weaknesses.

It’s a conscious choice.

Choose to amplify your strengths.

Create your life.

🍨

P.S. Starting this week, I’m adding a little marker to each Thursday Thought. It’s a simple way to track the journey - a milestone along the path. This is Milestone 7.1. Thanks for walking with me.

Time has been sprinting, not strolling.

My weekly Thursday Thoughts turns SIX this week!

How can that be?!

That’s 312 weekly musings with reflections on life’s blessings, challenges, and everything in between. Inspired by what I read, listen to, observe, or somehow experience. Published on Thursdays! (Usually.)

I mark this annual milestone because getting started was HARD.

It began with text messages to my family. God bless them for their support! I wanted to get my voice out into the world and they were “willing” participants. 😁

Then a friend said, “I want my Thursday Thoughts too!”

And my mom (yay for moms!) asked to receive hers as well.

Eventually, I expanded beyond texts, sharing on my website, by email, and on LinkedIn.

I offer Thursday Thoughts as a bit of #Inspiration. Maybe one will nudge you, spark an idea, or simply make you smile. 😊

Thank you for reading, today and every week.

These reflections remind me that when we choose something and fuel it with intention, we grow. We stretch. We step beyond our comfort zones.

So let me ask:

👉 What are you waiting to start?

👉 What’s holding you back?

Take a small step.

Ignore the fear (that voice is a liar).

Each step brings you closer to your own milestones, until one day, you’ll look back and realize "that thing" is six already, too.

The best is yet to come.

Just get started.

Create your life.

🍨

If you've been reading my Thursday Thoughts, what's one that stuck with you?

Or, what’s something you started and stuck with that you’re proud of?

I decided it was time.

I have found that some of the most meaningful returns come from the investments we make in ourselves.

It was time for me to make an intentional choice, to make another investment. Time to invest in me.

Here are two definitions of investment from the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary:

1️⃣ the act of investing money in something

2️⃣ the act of giving time or effort to a particular task in order to make it successful

We often think of investments primarily in financial terms. The first definition.

The second definition speaks to another type of investment, equally or perhaps more important.

In my situation, there was certainly a financial aspect.

However, it was more of a commitment to myself and my future and the future of my coaching business.

I chose to invest in a photo shoot and to get pictures taken by a professional (nothing against family members and friends who have served as photographer!).

This represented multiple investments:

👍 in myself

👍 in others

👍 in the future

As with financial investments, time will tell whether these investments will result in success.

I’m continually humbled by the people who invest in me, with their time, encouragement, and belief, especially during my photo shoot (photographer and friends).

We do better when we travel together.

What type of investment are you waiting to make?

Do you need to invest in yourself?

What's holding you back?

Create your life.

🍨

What do you think?

Does death unite us?

🤔

(Thanks for reading a longer than normal thought.)

I found out Tuesday morning that the daughter of a former co-worker passed away and her funeral service was that afternoon.

Throughout the service, I was struck by the realization that death unites us.

The unexpected departure of a loved one is horrible and the grief is real.

I witnessed many gifts during a celebration of a life filled with love.

⛪ The church was packed!

Grief needs a community and this one rallied. A positive, initial impression about a young woman I never actually met. (Her mother and I started work on the same day at our former employer.)

🌷 Friends joined a flower procession.

I learned that flowers were very meaningful to the young woman. Many tears were shed. I hope the ritual helped the friends to say goodbye in some way.

(Ever notice that we spend life learning to say hello? Nobody ever really teaches us how to say goodbye.)

👥 Many former co-workers attended.

In another heartwarming show of support, many former colleagues attended the service. What a strong sign of comfort and compassion.

🫂 A long hug line.

United by the loss, the community provided hugs. I treasure the support a simple hug can provide. You cannot give a hug without getting a hug. A hug is therapeutic for both people involved.

❤️

All in all, the humanness present at the service was profound.

Transitions challenge us. When we lose a loved one, it can be hard to understand and perhaps even harder to become someone new as a result of the passing.

The topic of death is frightening. It can be scary and intense.

The invitation is to move toward the topic and conversation, BECAUSE it's scary and intense.

During a passing transition, I like to propose two questions that might help to accept an ending and move toward a new beginning.

We get to explore the grief AND the joy related to the person who passed.

💡 What do you remember about the person you have lost?

💡 How will you keep those things alive?

This goes deeper than the usual, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Listen and notice the positive energy shift in the conversation.

❤️

Funeral services end. People go their separate ways and return to the comfort of their routines.

Except for the people closest to the person lost.

Our challenge is to keep showing up, even when it's not painful and urgent.

(Wow. As I write this, I'm faced with a stark reminder than I need to show up for some people in my life. The pain and urgency faded for me and I want to choose to show up for them again. And again and again.)

Is there anyone you need to show up for in your life? Perhaps for the second or third time?

Provide comfort.

Enable them to dump and grieve.

Be part of their community.

👍

What are you avoiding?

I asked my client this question during a coaching session this week.

He had to think for a minute. And then admitted he was not sure.

For me, I tend to avoid things I claim as priorities and yet I choose to put them off.

Yeah, in addition to being a recovering perfectionist, I have also done my time as a world-class procrastinator.

The two are not unrelated!

While I have gotten better, I still avoid priorities.

Everything gets done, but it creates unnecessary stress and anxiety.

🤪

Do you avoid conflict and say yes to things you wouldn’t want?

Do you lose yourself in comforting routines and habits and procrastinate on unpleasant tasks?

Do you think, maybe if I let it go it will take care of itself?

Do you feel anxiety, shame, or guilt about what you avoided or procrastinated on?

You might consider these to be negative. Perhaps they are.

What if you choose to avoid being hard on yourself for saying "yes" to any of these questions?

What if you choose to avoid listening to that inner critic's voice?

Where is the gift in that avoidance?

Create your life.

🍨

I saw a great thing this morning.

Coming out of church, a mother and her daughter were hand-in-hand at the curb.

And the little girl was having the time of her life - stomping in the puddles!

"Nothing like a good puddle," I said with a smile on my face. 🙂

When we are young, we seek out the puddles. As we get older, we generally shy away from puddles. We don't want to get our feet or clothes wet. We don't want to create a scene. We choose to "act our age" instead.

What is it about a puddle? What makes a puddle so nearly irresistible to play in? Those wonderfully fun collections of water just begging for someone to disrupt with their feet or bicycle tire.

It is hard to match the pure joy of splashing in a puddle. Nothing matters except how high and how far the splatter goes. Nothing else matters!

💡

I want to break free or perhaps let go of the voices in my head that say I shouldn't do this or I'm too old to do that.

I want to feel the joy and freedom of those moments when nothing else matters.

I want to splash in more puddles.

What about you?

Create your life.

🍨

Or rather,

Do NOT should on yourself!

I should do this. I should do that. I should do this, that, and the other thing.

Enough!

Do not "should" on yourself!

You would not do that other thing to yourself that starts with the letter "s" and is four letters long. Yuck!

Do not should on yourself, either!

Where does the "should" come from, anyway?

More often that not, it comes from outside of us. Things we hear from others. Expectations from our community or "society" in general.

Sometimes it comes from our inner critic voice.

It's often rooted in a victim mindset.

How much would your perspective change if you considered everything as an opportunity rather than a requirement?

What if you said:

I get to do this. I get to do that. I get to do this, that, and the other thing.

Life is full of opportunities that we get to do. It all depends on your perspective.

You can intentionally choose a creator mindset.

What opportunities wait for you?

What is it that you get to do?

Create your life.

🍨

I have come to realize that no matter where you are on life’s journey, how young you are or how old you are, we all have the ability to choose who we want to become and the time to start is always right now.

Especially right now.

Choose today who you want to be tomorrow. We always have a choice.

💡

I choose to be a great husband and father, a great friend, a person who makes a difference in my community and the world, someone who replenishes hope.

I choose to be a sought-after person who helps others navigate and prepare for the non-financial stressors during retirement (identity, purpose, structure, and social connection).

I choose to serve as a fitness coach, helping others achieve their personal fitness goals.

These are lifelong and ongoing choices. Part of who I am and want to be at my core.

These choices are how I intentionally create my life.

👍

Who do you want to become?

Become who you want to be.

You can...

Create your life.

🍨

Do you recognize when you are not being intentional with your choices?

We have a lot going on. We're busy people. It can be easy to get lazy and let things happen "to" us. It can be easy to play the victim.

What if you made a choice to do things intentionally?

For example, how do your values help you reach your goals?

What if you identify your values and then set goals that align with those values?

Put structure into your life to "be" your values.

Intentionally decide how to put your values into action.

Decide how you will live your values.

The choices we make end up making us.

Make intentional choices about where you spend your time and energy.

Do this and witness more verve, vitality, vigor, and vibrancy in your life!

When you do things intentionally, you will

create your life.

🍨

What happens when your values get violated?

During a coaching conversation this week, my client mentioned a situation in which he reacted in a way that surprised him. Our conversation helped him realize his reaction occurred because his value of respect had been trampled on. Our emotional responses to situations often relate back to a dissonance with something core to our being. When something or someone breaches what's important to us, it can cause a stir inside. 💡

The conversation reminded me of how important respect can be.

We show respect for others when we listen to understand, not reply, and without interrupting to say what's on our mind.

We show respect for ourselves when we honor our values or exercise self care.

We show respect when we value other people's opinions and perspectives.

Respect builds relationships and fosters trust.

Where and how do you want to show more respect?

The next time you find yourself reacting strongly, reflect on which of your values got impinged.

Create your life.

🍨

As I get older (and wiser),

I appreciate the value of experiences more and more.

Experiences create lasting memories and stay with us as part of who we are, helping to shape our identity.

Experiences bring us to new places, perhaps help us to learn new skills, and enable us to form meaningful connections which enrich our lives.

Experiences provide fulfillment from shared adventures and perhaps personal milestones.

The joy of an experience lives on as we tell and retell stories.

🙌

My family has enjoyed our share of experiences over the years: camping, excursions near and far, road trips, garage beers with neighbors, walks along the beach, hiking in the woods, volunteering, the list goes on.

(gratitude)

My wife and I generally align on spending habits (thankfully!) and tend to focus on creating experiences and memories.

We recently took advantage of an opportunity to cheer for my alma mater in the College Football Playoff National Championship. #GoIrish

We did not have game tickets and decided to go anyway, for the experience.

We caught up with old friends and met lots of people.

We saw the #NDBand perform a couple of times.

We relished the tremendous energy surrounding the event.

The game's outcome was not what we hoped it would be. 👎

The overall experience made it worthwhile. 👍

When presented with an opportunity, big or small, how do you respond?

Has your appreciation for experiences shifted as you get older?

What stories do you want to tell and retell?

Create your life.

🍨

Want to remain positive and upbeat?

Try to focus on what's good instead of focusing on what's wrong.

The easy path, the path of least resistance, is to keep looking for the good on the surface.

Sometimes you might need to look under the cover.

You might need to search for the good.

The good exists.

Shift your focus there and see what happens.

Focus on what's good and avoid the trap of negativity.

Create your life.

🍨

Snoopy’s got it!

Language matters. The choices we make begin with our personal language.

There is power in how we talk to ourselves. A reframing of negative self-talk leads to an opportunity.

Consider these examples of negative self-talk and their corresponding opportunity:

👉 “I can’t” vs “I won’t” - I can't run a mile. I won't run a mile. (I choose not to run a mile.)

👉 "If only" vs "Next time" - If only I was stronger. Next time, I will build the strength I need.

👉 "It's terrible" vs "It's an experience" - Your dinner experiment is terrible. Your dinner experiment is an experience.

👉 "I should" vs "I could" - I should brush my hair. I could brush my hair (if I chose to brush my hair).

👉 "It's too difficult" vs "It takes time" - It's too difficult to learn a new skill. It takes time to learn a new skill.

What are some examples you have of negative self-talk and the corresponding opportunity?

How we say things, what we say, the words we use, it all matters.

Words especially matter when we're talking to ourselves.

We can choose the words we use.

We can choose a more positive perspective.

We can embrace Snoopy's mindset and choose to live every day.

Create your life.

🍨