The pandemic has led many of us into a habit of isolation. A habit that we desperately need to break.

As human beings, we are wired for connection. That's the opposite of what's been happening for me and so many other people.

Even when in office space together, we seem stuck and merely coexisting in the same space.

When in my company's office this week, it took me until late afternoon to say hi to the person sitting in the chair next to me.

Sure, I extended greetings to others around me. I did not connect to the person right next to me.

I was busy.

So were they.

I noticed that many others were not connecting the way I remember when, well, before.

What if I never said hi?

What if nobody said hi to each other?

What a lonely world this would be.

Each connection, big and small, results in feeling a little more meaning in what we do, a bit better health, and perhaps even enjoying a satisfying relationship.

To break the isolation habit, we can consider taking the initiative, giving others the benefit of the doubt (they really are interested in hearing from us), and giving off a positive and inviting vibe.

We can learn to simply reach out and say hi to the people around us and to pick up the phone and make a call.

We can also work to be available for others when they reach out.

When we stop isolating, we connect to something greater than ourselves. We connect to others.

That feels good.

Create your life.

🍨

When we goof up, it's important to say we're sorry.

When we recognize we made a mistake, it can take courage to admit it to ourselves and might be even harder to admit it to someone else.

We all make mistakes sometimes.

I made not only one, but two mistakes last night.

One was me over-reacting to a family situation and raising my voice.

Another was me not communicating very well with a friend.

In both situations, I recognized right away that I wanted to apologize and I did.

Apologies might be the first step toward repairing the relationship.

Apologies are definitely a step toward forgiveness.

Create your life.

☮️

The start of a new year brings a sense of freshness and chance for new beginnings.

At this time of year, I like to reflect on the song lyrics from "Everything is Possible Now" by Clouds and Thorns.

As this new year gets rolling, these words seem particularly appropriate.

This song's upbeat tempo feels good and the words energize my soul.

Everything IS possible now.

👍

"As time rolls on, I won't let life leave me behind

I can see the future coming

And man it's such a sight

But time will waste me

if I don't stop wasting time

Let's dream out loud

'Cause all we know

Has been turned upside down

Everything is possible now"

🎶

What possibilities exist for you today, this week, this year?

Create your life.

🍨

P.S. As promised last week, my word for 2023 is INTIMACY. Not what you think of in the bedroom (although that's okay, too). It's expansive intimacy. I seek deeper relationships at work, home, play, and with myself. I want more connection and closeness, to journey with others and not alone, to touch people's lives and in turn have them touch mine. I desire more richness in my life.

☝️

For anyone who asks, I will help you to identify YOUR one word.

What will your word be in 2023?

❓

Happy New Year!

🎉

I have an invitation for thee in 2023.

I invite you to start the new year by choosing just One Word that will provide you with clarity, meaning, purpose, and focus throughout the next year. Skip the resolutions that become forgotten within days or weeks (80% of them gone by February). One Word is simple and powerful.

🎆 You will become more aware of your word in everything you do.

🎆 You will benefit personally, professionally, and even while playing.

🎆 You will build new habits focused around your word.

Resolve to live 2023 on purpose, not by accident!

Choose One Word that will stick the entire year!

My word in 2022 was playful. I wanted to live more free-spirited and enjoy life more fully. I wanted to shake myself free from default behaviors and unleash more creativity. I wanted to be less serious, have more fun and enjoy the ride.

Next week, I will share my word for the new year.

What will YOUR word be in 2023?

Create your life.

🍨

As you celebrate the holidays this time of year, and (hopefully) slow down a little, what are you doing for yourself?

Earlier this week, I completed my first strength training session in, um, much, much too long.

Today will be my second strength training session.

I'm taking next week off from work and look forward to:

👍 more strength workouts

👍 reading a book

👍 mediation time

👍 going for a walk (or three)

My goal is to put self-care into my schedule and want to use this holiday time to start some habits.

I'm starting with one small thing.

It will grow into another small thing.

Then perhaps another.

What I know, and have not always taken action to do, is that I need to care for myself before I can care for others.

Just like the airlines suggest, I need to put my mask on before putting a mask on others.

What are you doing to take care of yourself?

Create your life.

🍨

As the end of year arrives, give yourself permission to slow down.

Give yourself permission to slow down so that you can:

👉 assess the last 50-ish weeks

👉 enjoy the holiday season with family and friends

👉 just "be" for a minute (or two)

You probably don't want to find yourself "Running on Empty" like Jackson Browne.

So slow down and do something to refill your cup and recharge.

Here are a few ideas:

👉 take time off from work

👉 shut down the computer 30-60 minutes earlier than normal

👉 take a walk or maybe an extra walk

👉 watch TV or go to a move

👉 read a book

I invite you to share, what are you doing to slow down this time of year?

Create your life.

🍨

Large or small, all acts of kindness make a difference.

How does seeing, receiving, or giving kindness make you feel?

Notice the ripple effect that occurs.

The world is full of kind people.

If you can't find one, be one. 🙂

What will you do to spread kindness?

Create your life.

Be kind.

❤️

I found myself reflecting earlier this week on the senseless killing that occurs in this country (America).

There were two songs on my playlist that particularly resonated with me this week.

These powerful song lyrics help me express my wishes, longings, desires, wants for our world. And a little about my beliefs.

🎶

"Be A Light" by Thomas Rhett

In a time full of war, be peace

It's hard to live in color, when you just see black and white

In a world full of hate, be a light

🕯️

"Most People Are Good" by Luke Bryan

I believe you love who you love

Ain't nothing you should ever be ashamed of

I believe this world ain't half as bad as it looks

I believe most people are good

👍

May we always remember to focus on what we have in common - we are all human.

We all deserve love and light.

Despite what happens all around us, with greater frequency than I would like, most people ARE good.

I wish that we might ALL be peace and a light for others.

Create your life.

❤️

I am grateful for family and friends, health, smiles, laughter, sunshine, and family gatherings (even when they are virtual).

Take a moment today and reflect. 

We have much for which to be thankful.

Create your life.

When you take action, do you consider what's really important to you? Consider what really matters?

An extended family member injured themselves earlier this week and required surgery the next day.

This disrupted my household as we scrambled to be with the injured person and also get everyone in my immediate family where they needed to go.

In the process, I had a choice to make - visit the family member and provide support in the middle of the day or stay home and work.

I chose family.

As I drove to the hospital, I recognized that my decision was firmly rooted in what's really important to me.

Family is one of my top values and way more important than work.

Work will always be there. If not the current job then another one.

I have only one family.

They are what's really important.

I didn't always behave this way.

More times than I would like to admit, my career and work in general has taken first place.

My career received most and sometimes all of my attention.

With a bit of personal growth over the years, I'm getting better at aligning my choices with my values.

It's intentional and gets hard sometimes because I need to unwind what's been a standard mode of operation for a long time.

What about you?

Do you consider your values and align your actions accordingly?

Aligning your values with your actions (and goals!) sets an example for others to follow and provides you with more fulfillment.

If you're like me, it's a lifelong journey and one that's worth traveling.

Create your life.

🎂

In my part of the world, we celebrate birthdays with vigor.

Cakes, candles, cards, gifts, and singing. Oh, the singing! (often cringe-worthy and very laughable)

Birthdays indicate a special day, one which is truly "ours" and represents the day we took our first breath.

Today, I want to recognize a very special birthday.

Today, the mother of my children celebrates another successful tour around the sun.

I will strive to make this a special day for her. To let her know that she is exceptional.

I don't always do the best job of expressing how much she means to me.

I want my wife to know she's my queen.

Today and every day.

❤️

How do you celebrate birthdays?

When you recognize someone's special day, how do you want them to feel?

Create your life.

Last week, I wrote about ABC = Always Be Curious.

What might that mean?

How might you be more curious?

❓

A few ideas:

👉 ask questions

👉 don't be judgemental

👉 listen

👉 stay in the moment

👉 be willing to be wrong

👉 what else would you add? (let me know)

❓

When to be curious:

👉 you genuinely don't know

👉 you want to find out more

👉 notice when you are being judgemental and get curious about "that"

👉 when else? (let me know)

Bottom line: Never be afraid to ask questions.

Other people will find you interesting to talk with.

You will never be bored if you approach the world with a mind of curiosity.

You will always be learning something new.

Create your life.

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." -- Albert Einstein

Kids are always asking questions, always wondering, asking why this or why that.

Curiosity is not just for kids.

I've noticed lately that a lot of leaders I work with who receive 360 feedback from their peers choose to focus on curiosity as the one small thing to help them grow.

When they consider how they might create safe space around them or better understand another person's viewpoint or show up with more compassion and patience, they choose curiosity as the gateway.

Curiosity is lifelong learning.

❓

Through curiosity, you might:

👍 discover new things

👍 acquire deeper understanding

👍 think outside the box

👍 unlock answers

👍 open doors and windows

👍 find a moment without ego

👍 never be bored

👍 never stop exploring

👍 never stop learning

You might also find yourself being less judgemental when you are more curious. (Thanks, Walt Whitman!)

Seems to be as simple as ABC.

Always Be Curious.

Create your life.

What structures do you integrate into the bustle of your day?

🧱

Nope, not the structure that provides us with shelter or the kind we might shop in or visit for work.

I'm talking about mechanisms we might use to achieve something or be someone. Reminders of sorts.

You know about the "tie a string around your finger" method for remembering something.

That's a structure. Perhaps less effective than other options. Still a structure.

Do you have sticky notes on your monitor?

Structures.

Background image of your family on your phone? Screen saver on your computer? Quotes on your refrigerator door? Device alerts to get up and move?

Structures.

Sometimes these methods stop serving us because they blend into our environment. After a period of time, we may begin to gloss over them. No longer reminders, their purpose fades.

If, or when, you become aware of this happening, consider an adjustment.

You can easily move sticky notes and put them in different locations.

You can also replace images and quotes with another meaningful something.

When you make an adjustment, you get at least two benefits.

First, you're reminded of the purpose for the structure in the first place.

Second, the structure gets to do its job again and move you toward doing something or being someone.

You don't have any structures? That's okay!

What if you take a minute to create one now?

💡

What's important to you? What habit do you want to develop? Put it on a sticky note and place it somewhere you will see frequently. Monitors, mirrors, doors, walls - they all work well.

Check in with yourself after a few weeks to see if the structure still works. If not, make an adjustment.

Don't forget to be kind to yourself when you recognize you might not (yet) do or be who you want. Exercise patience and give it time.

Create a structure.

Create your life.

Do it right now.

Well, right after you read this - first you need to know what you're doing! 🙂

Take a pause.

⏸️

Close your eyes.

Take one deep breath in and slowly let it go.

Take a second deep breath and again, slowly release it.

During this second exhale, notice if any tension exists in your body.

Nothing to fight, the tension is welcome to stay, just notice.

Take a third breath, the deepest one yet and s-l-o-w-l-y exhale.

Open your eyes.

Resume

▶️

Embrace the connection to your breath, the deliberate slow down, your presence in this moment.

Consider this a gift to yourself.

Perhaps this even becomes a gift to others as a result of your increased presence and calm.

I often start 1:1 feedback sessions this way. I find it works well for me and the other person.

I have also taken this 30 second pause before going into a meeting as a way to reset, recharge, and refocus.

When might you benefit by taking a pause?

Notice how it affects the way you show up for yourself and those around you.

Create your life.