Has anybody asked you this lately? Or maybe the ubiquitous, "How are you doing?" Perhaps you even asked these questions.

The answers are as empty as the questions: "Fine." "Okay." " Good."

You might even get another greeting in reply: "Fine. How about you?"

These questions are often a substitute for saying "hello" to another person. They are non-questions or at least ones we might not actually want answered. Most of the time, we are extending pleasantries. We don't *really* want to know.

A colleague and I recently got on a video call and I was asked, "What's going on?" to which I replied, after a brief hesitation, "It's been one heck of a day, I'm really tired." I then proceeded to express the reason for my tiredness.

It was not the expected answer and we had a chat (and a laugh) about the exchange and how common it is for us to ask these questions without thinking. And how uncommon it is for us to answer the way I chose this time.

What if we simply extended a greeting?

Or, even better, what if we asked a question that would lead to connection with the other person?👍

1️⃣ What's the best moment of your day so far?

2️⃣ What makes you smile?

3️⃣ What are you looking forward to?

4️⃣ What strength do you wish more people knew about you?

5️⃣ What song is running through your head today?

What other question(s) might you ask that would lead to a meaningful connection? Let me know!

Certainly, this is not a "new" situation. My recent personal experience raised my awareness again.

I long for connection. As humans, we are wired for connection. It's been in shorter supply lately for many of us.

I challenge you, during your next encounter with another human, ask a meaningful question and have a real conversation.

Connect with the other person.

See if you feel a lift, lighter, perhaps even satisfaction in response to the quick engagement.

See if it helps you become a better leader.

Create your life.

How old is too old?

It depends, I suppose.

My fabulous daughter recently gifted me with the ship flown by The Mandalorian in his "early" days, a LEGO(R) version of The Razor Crest(TM) Microfighter.

What fun to put that toy together! I found it very playful (my word for this year).

On a recent work call, a few of us shared our LEGO(R) creations.

Consensus was that we are never too old for LEGOS(R).

Have you been putting something off because the voice inside your head is telling you that you're too old?

Tell that voice to go eat a cookie, jump off a cliff, take a hike - you get the idea - tell it to buzz off!

It tells you lies so you stay the same.

You are never too old.

And it is never too late.

Give it a go, do whatever that thing is, however big or small.

Create your life.

In the Northern Hemisphere, the calendar says we are officially in Autumn.

Changes are coming.

🍂

Notice the changes as nature prepares for winter: birds fly south, temperatures get cooler, leaves change colors, animals’ coats thicken, and hours of daylight will continue to grow shorter.

As many of us experience a seasonal change, it's a natural time to reflect.

What changes are coming?

How are you preparing for the next season?

What do you want for yourself for the rest of 2022?

Identify something you want and go for it!

You still have time.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

Avoid the doom and gloom.

Stay focused.

Stay positive.

Create your life.

Have you ever asked *yourself* this question?

I have had an opportunity to reflect on this question for myself lately.

My answer? No.

I have not been as available to my family as I would like. I have not been as available to myself as I would like.

Last night, I took the opportunity to (re)connect with my wife. I have not been as available to her as I would like.

We went shopping. 🛍️

We stopped for a beer. 🍺

We talked. 🗣️

I chose, even sought out the possibility, to make myself available to her, to me, to the moment, to the connection that had been missing as of late.

Making myself available helped fill the gap and created some joy between us.

Are you available?

Are you present in the moment?

What opportunity might being waiting for you if you make yourself available?

Your intention to be available might bring a bit of joy to you and those around you.

We could all use a little more joy in our lives, am I right?

Create your life.

Don't be an echo. Be a voice.

What comes to mind when you read this?

For me, an echo repeats back what someone else said, it follows, it expresses the ideas or feelings that someone else already expressed, and it bounces back with less intensity than the original.

I see a voice as something imaginative, fresh, unique, a set of words that might inspire or share a perspective.

A voice might convey something more personal and meaningful. It leads.

More than three years ago, I wanted to get my voice out into the world and I embarked on my Thursday Thoughts journey. Text messages to immediate family evolved into a website blog, email messages, and LinkedIn posts.

I get to share my thoughts about life’s blessings, challenges, and everything in between, inspired by what I read, listen to, observe, or somehow experience.

What are some ways you might share your thoughts, express your opinions, or use your voice?

Perhaps you speak up in a meeting or classroom. Or tell friends or family what's on your mind. Or articulate your position via an email.

Regardless of the path you choose, you get to:

👉 state your perspective

👉 share what's meaningful

👉 enrich the lives of those around you

The world wants to hear what you have to say in whatever way you choose to say it.

Don't be an echo.

Be a voice.

Create your life.

When we strive to make ourselves better, the world around us becomes better, too.

❤️

Last weekend, I had the privilege of leading my inaugural dad's getaway, Explore I'M IN (Inform::Move::Inspire::Nourish).

I'm filled with gratitude for the time these fellow fathers chose to spend with me and each other. I'm humbled by their trust in me to help them explore an opportunity to relax, slow down, get out of the house, enjoy the outdoors, sit by a campfire, and enjoy conversation.

👉 We identified, reconnected, and realigned with our values and what's important in our lives.

👉 We connected with the power of making choices.

👉 We explored where life may be out of balance and where we want a smoother ride.

👉 We assembled for campfire conversations - and enjoyed s'mores!

👉 We hiked in the woods.

👉 We captured ideas for what we each aspired to do next.

The overnight shindig was light on structure and full of meaningful, guided conversations.

👍 These dads were able to refocus, refine, and reset.

👍 They learned that others have the same challenges that they do.

👍 They uncovered new and different ways to think about things.

When was the last time you took a moment to realign your values with your actions?

How intentional are you with your choices?

Imagine the ripple effect this focus might have on your family, community, and world.

Reach out if you want to get on the waiting list and learn more about joining me for the next group to Explore I'M IN.

Create your life.

I'm struck by what I can receive if I just ask. I'm so used to doing things mostly alone. With an endeavor I'm creating for dad's to enjoy a getaway (more to come in the future), I decided to ask people for feedback - for help really - and bring others into my process. I have a handful of "reviewers" and LOTS of gratitude for them - and myself, for asking. That's a change for me and a very conscious choice.

It's also not escaping me that I'm asking for help to improve something that's very meaningful to me and I "think" (know!) there is a correlation there, but not a correlation I have always been open to exploring. No doubt this creative endeavor is causing me to grow. What a wonderful and unintended(?) consequence in the best way.

What's meaningful enough to you that you seek help?

What might you receive if you just ask?

Create your life.

I love the woods.

🌳

Whether camping, on a hike, a mountain bike ride, or a quick drive through, it's a happy place for me.

😊

Feel the cool breeze.

See and feel the sunshine.

Hear the wind in the trees.

Notice the birds, wildflowers and water.

Ride across the dirt.

Feel the bump of tree roots under bike tires.

🚵

Taking the opportunity to soak it all in.

Taking the opportunity to get away from concrete and brick.

Taking the opportunity to get outside and into nature.

Getting outside renews my spirit and refreshes my soul.

☀️

I've gotten into the woods three weekends in a row. I'm on track for five or more in this streak. Getting in the woods is glorious and helps to shift my perspective toward the weeks behind and ahead.

What do you enjoy doing to renew your spirit and refresh your soul?

When is the next opportunity you will take to do that?

Whether you get outside or have another favorite strategy, do it.

Create your life.

I look around me and I see it isn't so.

The word itself - chivalry - may conjure up thoughts of knighthood and days long gone.

However we label it - politeness, courtesy, courteousness, gentlemanliness, kindness, or good manners - it exists.

I was particularly encouraged to see an endearing act by my nephew toward his girlfriend last weekend.

He opened the car door for her, held the door open, and closed it after she was situated in the passenger seat.

I smiled.

🙂

In a world where so many seem focused on themselves, I saw this as a selfless act of endearment, of kindness, of love.

Witnessing this chivalrous act gives me hope.

🌻

Hope for a world where we think of others first.

Hope for a world where people exhibit care for each other.

Hope for a world where kindness can change everything.

🌷

Young love is something wonderful to observe.

It's also wonderful to behold the goodness that stays alive in our world.

Is chivalry dead?

I hope not.

Create your life.

I'm tired.

I have a pattern of over-scheduling myself.

I last visited this place roughly two months ago.

I'm there again.

😔

I need to say "no" to something(s) and say "yes" to myself.

I want to put myself first.

It's hard for me to say "no" when I'm passionate about those things to which I say "yes."

I give myself permission to say "No."

I just wrote that on a sticky note and attached it to my monitor.

Brene Brown talks about giving ourselves permission slips with their primary function to serve as explicit intention setting.

Are you also a high-achiever struggling to say "no" to things?

Consider the intention you want to set.

For what do you want to give yourself a permission slip?

Create your life.

"You learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." --Plato

👍

I "received" this on a bottle cap recently.

If you have been following along this year, you know my word for the year is playful. See the P.S. in this post: https://www.markstaelgraeve.com/inspiration/2022/1/6/possibilities.

As I check-in with myself and reflect on the first half of the year, I want more playfulness, less seriousness, and more play time.

For me, play time includes (but is not limited to):

👉 game night with the family

👉 platform tennis

👉 solving the daily Wordle puzzle

👉 putting together LEGO toys

👉 going to the ice cream shop

👉 going for a bike ride

👉 experimenting in the kitchen

👉 assembling a jigsaw puzzle

What I have learned about myself through play:

🎯 I am fond of challenges, physical and intellectual

🎯 I fancy focusing my brain on something other than a computer screen

🎯 I value time with my family, especially when we laugh together

🎯 I have a competitive streak and like to win (but not at all costs)

What does play time look like for you?

What do you learn about yourself through play? What do you learn about others?

Don't forget to have conversations. 🙂

Remember to make time for play and notice what you learn about yourself and others.

Create your life.

Mainstream media and politicians seem to want us to believe that we are more different than we are alike.

😲

Whenever I travel, especially internationally, I appreciate that the opposite is true.

There is truth that we sound different and look different.

There is also truth that we are really much more alike than different.

✈️

My family and I spent the last two weeks in Belgium and the Netherlands.

Here are a few of my observations that provide evidence that we are quite similar, regardless of speech, skin color, or where we live.

✅ We run for trains.

✅ We hold hands as a sign of affection.

✅ We appreciate art, architecture, history, and ice cream.

✅ We want the best for those in our care, as a host or a loved one.

✅ Seeing someone after time apart results in a joyous, sometimes tearful embrace.

✅ People on an over-crowded train will give up their seat for a woman with a young child.

✅ Siblings get into each other's business (some may say "fight" with each other).

✅ We use dance as a way to express our culture and heritage.

✅ We smile. And laugh.

😁

Truth is, we are all human beings at our core.

Our humanity is a bind that connects us all, forever and always.

What evidence do you see that humans are more alike than different?

Let's focus on what we have in common.

Embrace our similarities and we will witness more peace, more joy, more kindness, more getting along.

Create your life.

Ask questions.

Show people you care about them.

Don't worry about sharing a "better" story or "better" experience.

Be you.

Create your life.

Motivation comes and goes. It's great to feel motivated and be motivated. You won't always be motivated. You won't always feel energetic. You won't always feel willing to do what it takes to be successful. Fall back on your discipline.

Do what you need to do to be successful whether you feel motivated or not. Get out of bed in the morning, eat well, go for a walk, run, or workout.

Take the steps necessary to get what you want.

Create your life.

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion." ~ Paulo Coelho

✔️

Author Paulo Coelho reminds us that talk (and opinions) come cheap.

What's priceless is the example of human-being you are continually broadcasting, even louder than your words.

You have such power to positively affect the way things go by the example you set.

By the way you take in the complexity of the situation.

By the way you attend to the best outcome for all.

By the way you observe the dimensionality of what's really happening.

And many more ways.

Think about the world changing potential of your example.

And watch what's getting set.

Create your life.

.

(borrowed from "Inspiration for Agile Coaches")