It's that time of year.

Many of our kiddos are getting ready to begin a new school year.

We're dropping off our daughter for her second year of college.

There is anticipation and hopefulness as the new school year kicks into gear.

There are good-byes and there are hellos.

There are plenty of "great to see you again!" and "how was your summer?"

I don't recall much about my college drop offs and wonder what my daughter might remember about hers.

I also wonder what my wife and I will remember since our perspective differs as parents.

We're hopeful that our daughter will continue to enjoy her experience. There is excitement for what's to come and an eagerness to create memories.

Our hopefulness comes from having gone through this ourselves, part of our life already experienced. We know what may lie ahead.

Hope is powerful.

Create your life.

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As I get older, things change.

Like my ability to accept things as being good enough.

As a recovering perfectionist, I have often sought flawlessness.

I still seek that elusively high bar from time to time. It's a mighty hard thing to unlearn.

I recently needed to redo the shower caulking in our basement bathroom.

For all intents and purposes, it got ignored until it needed attention (yeah, I like to procrastinate, too). And then it needed attention quickly.

My tendency would have been to do it "right" by cleaning the shower first, removing the old caulking, and then applying a nice new bead of fresh caulk.

Well, I chose to let go of the need to be perfect.

I chose not to clean the area first and I also chose to not remove the old caulk (not entirely).

This was not going to be perfect. Far from it.

It WAS going to be good enough.

👍

I find letting go ends up being less stressful which means more enjoyable. It's not always less stressful in the moment. For me in this caulking situation, the stress was high and only decreased over time after making my choice. It definitely took a little while for me to fully accept good enough as good enough.

When might you benefit from letting go and letting something be good enough?

Create your life.

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What can we learn from the Olympics about chasing and realizing dreams?

Over the previous two-ish weeks, I found myself captivated by this once-every-four-year sporting event spectacular.

I marvel at the speed, power, precision, and creativity that the athletes display.

Stories abound about these athletes from all parts of the world who wait four years for their chance.

They all have the dream to compete against the world's best.

They train and train and train some more.

They do what they need to do in order to be the Olympian of their dreams.

👣

I am no Olympian. I do have dreams. I dream of being a great husband and father, of being a great colleague and friend, of helping others grow. I dream of being someone who makes a difference in our world.

Who do you want to be? What is your dream?

The blessing of our human condition is that we get to decide. You get to decide.

You get to decide who you want to become.

Like the Olympians pursuing their dreams, we must also take action to realize our dreams. We must take small steps.

Who will you be?

What is it that you need to do in order to be that person?

Make that choice.

Create your life.

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Have you been able to get away this summer?

I find a lot of benefit from short getaways to destinations not very far away for 1-4 days.

The last four weekends provided those opportunities, starting with a day trip to a music festival in Wisconsin over the 4th of July weekend (1.5 hour drive).

The next weekend included a one-night stay near Michigan City with a day spent relaxing on the beach (1.5 hour drive).

Next, we took a road trip to rural Northwest Wisconsin for family time with my father and siblings and their families (7-ish hour drive).

To wrap up the four-week stretch, we enjoyed an extended weekend back in Michigan City with a couple of days to further enjoy the water and sands of Lake Michigan (1.5 hour drive) and watch some Olympic Games coverage on the tele.

We did not have to go very far for most of these getaways (okay, 6-7 hours driving is not exactly nearby).

We did not go for very long (I'll admit that 4 days and 5 nights is on the longer side of "short").

The real value did not come from the distance or length.

We did slow down.

We did relax.

That's where I appreciate the real value.

I believe short getaways can help slow down the pace of life, for whatever period of time is available.

Create your (slower) life.

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Sucking on a lemon drop is a metaphor for life sometimes. 🍋

It begins with a sharp, tangy burst of lemon flavor followed quickly by an intense sourness that makes your mouth pucker, your taste buds salivate, and your face scrunch up.

As you continue to suck on the candy, the sourness gradually mellows out, transitioning to a subtle sweetness.

Eventually, the sweetness becomes more prominent, with just a hint of lemony zest lingering.

If we can make it through the initial sourness, the sweetness will arrive.

It might take a little time. And patience.

Create your life.

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P.S. If you receive my Thursday Thoughts via email, you might get last week's along with this week. My automation failed last week.

During the last several years, I have become a believer that most things happen for a reason. There are few coincidences in life. Why did I go back to check the track team tent several years ago when a storm was coming? Why did I change from my last employer? Why did I stay up waaaay late into the morning preparing for webinars? Why did I get removed from my last client project?

Whether it's choosing a particular job, school, or friends, these choices are what we're supposed to do, where we're supposed to be.

What have you come to believe in your life? What choices did you make that may have appeared inconsequential at the time that you later realized were what you were supposed to do or where you were supposed to be?

The reason may not always be clear. The reason often takes time to fully evolve. As hard as it might be, know that God has a reason and trust his plan.

Create your life.

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"How are you?"

This widespread question might elicit all sorts of responses. For me, I generally reply with "No complaints."

And immediately follow with, "It doesn't do any good anyway."

Which often provokes a smirk or knowing chuckle.

How often do we find ourselves grumbling about one thing or another?

What good comes from the complaining? What anguish, misery, or stress ensues?

🤔

I decided a few years ago to complain less. I do still express my dissatisfaction or annoyance with things. That's part of my human condition (I'm not perfect).

I do feel better mentally for letting go of complaints. It yields a lighter, less stressful load to carry.

I also notice that I engage with my world a little differently. I look at what I "get to" do rather than "have to" do. I choose to instead focus on what I want and can control. I choose to create *that* as an alternative to grumbling and bemoaning things happening "to" me. I try to express more gratitude.

We all have the ability to make the choice to complain less and choose more positive ways to engage with our world.

What would your life look like if you adopted a "no complaints" principle?

What if you let go? What if you focused on solutions? What if you focused on gratitude?

Stay positive. 🙌

Create your life.

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They say it's your birthday.

We're gonna have a good time.

I'm glad it's your birthday.

Happy birthday to you.

These are some of the lyrics from The Beatles' Birthday song.

In the U.S., we celebrate our country's "birthday" on July 4th each year, the day it declared independence in 1776.

Lots of fireworks will light up the night skies these days before and after U.S. Independence Day.

Perhaps just as many backyard barbecues will heat up and people will gather.

We're blessed to enjoy freedoms not available everywhere nor for everyone.

I do not take our freedoms for granted and have extreme gratitude for those who fight for and protect our freedoms.

As a U.S. citizen, I feel fortunate to celebrate.

I plan to enjoy time with family and friends, at a backyard barbecue. I will also take in a fireworks display (or two). At some point, I will call my sister (it's her birthday, too, yeah!). 🎉

Create your life.

🎆

Are you familiar with the comic strip, Calvin and Hobbes?

I recently came across a quote attributed to Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes:

"If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I bet they would live a lot differently."

Wow, does that resonate with me! (Almost as much as Calvin and his friend Hobbes. Almost.)

What comes up for you when seeing this quote?

For me, looking at the stars makes me feel small in the grand scheme of things and it encourages me to reflect on my life and priorities. This reflection inspires a greater awareness of what's truly important.

I find stargazing a rather peaceful activity, almost meditative in nature, and something that reminds me to slow down and seek out more balance in life.

I also attain a sense of connection to something larger than myself. A connection that activates more compassion and community-oriented thinking.

Hmmm, staring at the night sky might lead to living a more meaningful, mindful, and connected life.

Makes me want to start looking upward every night, they way Bill contemplated and his endearing characters were fond of doing.

Create your life.

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What's better?!

I LOVE getting outdoors, connecting with nature, and spending time with my family.

Last weekend, which was Father's Day in the US, my family and I enjoyed camping in a nearby State Park.

Camping was my selected activity to celebrate the privilege I have to serve my two children as their father.

It was certainly easier to make happen now that my kids are older and have fewer (?) activities pulling at their time (well, now they get to request time off).

Getting outdoors enabled us to:

👍 hike in the woods

👍 observe cicada's mating

👍 experience the anxiety of hearing nearby trees rub together in the wind while we tried to sleep (in a tent)

👍 sit by a campfire

👍 slow down life for a while

Granted, we did not necessarily have to travel to get all of these opportunities. Some present themselves at home or close to home.

And there is also something special about packing up the car and heading someplace with the people I love (and who love me).

I find so much goodness while getting outside with my family and appreciating trees and the rest of nature.

What do you enjoy?

Does it involve getting outdoors?

When is the next time you will do that thing?

I'm going to focus on getting outdoors again today and tomorrow and the next day, whether it's in the woods or a walk to the ice cream store.

Create your life.

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I heard a story recently.

A kid drew a family picture - and the father was not in it.

Fathers serve as providers and protectors.

We are considered strong, smart, and able to do stuff.

And yet it might be common for fathers, especially high achievers, to miss out on enough stuff with their clan that their kids don't really think of them as part of the family. They just are not around much.

As we come upon another celebration of Father's Day in the U.S., are you in the picture?

Whether in the picture or not, as fathers, we can all take a moment to reflect.

Do you want to better align your values and actions?

What about making more intentional choices and honoring what's truly important to you?

Would you benefit from giving yourself permission to say "no" and stepping back instead of doing more?

Do you want to focus more on being some body and less on achieving some thing?

Create your life.

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P.S. If you want to:

👉 Lead a life that honors your personal values and gives you fulfillment

👉 Generate lasting new habits

👉 Obtain support, connection, and accountability

👉 Rediscover balance in your life

👉 Learn to live with more vibrancy, more choice, and more fulfillment

Then let's chat! Book time here: https://markstaelgraeve.as.me/discovery

🙌

What do you think about this premise:

You cannot change, but you can choose.

🤔

We often direct our attention toward what we want to change, about ourselves, our environment, the people around us.

Change can be hard.

None of us likes to change, so rather than focus on changing, what if we focus on choosing?

What if we did not worry about what to change and were instead more intentional about our choices?

Perhaps just for today.

💡

Make intentional choices that align with what's important to you.

The change will happen without you really noticing.

Choose your way into change.

Choose your reality.

Create your life.

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My daughter wants to take a summer class.

She needed to pass a placement exam before registering and just missed the cutoff score the first time she took it. (I can relate to that situation!)

She really wanted to take that class, so she studied and took the exam again.

This time, she passed and could register for the class!

She knew what she wanted and wasn't going to let a setback block her from her goal.

I was proud of her because she did not give up.

Getting back up after we fall can be hard.

And yet, life offers plenty of experiences when we get to try and try again.

Resilience. Persistence. Perhaps even stubbornness.

All traits that serve us well when we find ourselves in "learning moments" or situations when we must persevere in order to obtain what we seek.

If you face a setback along your journey, I invite you to never give up.

Draw upon those traits within you that help you to keep going and try again.

Create your life.

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