Death Unites
What do you think?
Does death unite us?
🤔
(Thanks for reading a longer than normal thought.)
I found out Tuesday morning that the daughter of a former co-worker passed away and her funeral service was that afternoon.
Throughout the service, I was struck by the realization that death unites us.
The unexpected departure of a loved one is horrible and the grief is real.
I witnessed many gifts during a celebration of a life filled with love.
⛪ The church was packed!
Grief needs a community and this one rallied. A positive, initial impression about a young woman I never actually met. (Her mother and I started work on the same day at our former employer.)
🌷 Friends joined a flower procession.
I learned that flowers were very meaningful to the young woman. Many tears were shed. I hope the ritual helped the friends to say goodbye in some way.
(Ever notice that we spend life learning to say hello? Nobody ever really teaches us how to say goodbye.)
👥 Many former co-workers attended.
In another heartwarming show of support, many former colleagues attended the service. What a strong sign of comfort and compassion.
🫂 A long hug line.
United by the loss, the community provided hugs. I treasure the support a simple hug can provide. You cannot give a hug without getting a hug. A hug is therapeutic for both people involved.
❤️
All in all, the humanness present at the service was profound.
Transitions challenge us. When we lose a loved one, it can be hard to understand and perhaps even harder to become someone new as a result of the passing.
The topic of death is frightening. It can be scary and intense.
The invitation is to move toward the topic and conversation, BECAUSE it's scary and intense.
During a passing transition, I like to propose two questions that might help to accept an ending and move toward a new beginning.
We get to explore the grief AND the joy related to the person who passed.
💡 What do you remember about the person you have lost?
💡 How will you keep those things alive?
This goes deeper than the usual, "I'm so sorry for your loss."
Listen and notice the positive energy shift in the conversation.
❤️
Funeral services end. People go their separate ways and return to the comfort of their routines.
Except for the people closest to the person lost.
Our challenge is to keep showing up, even when it's not painful and urgent.
(Wow. As I write this, I'm faced with a stark reminder than I need to show up for some people in my life. The pain and urgency faded for me and I want to choose to show up for them again. And again and again.)
Is there anyone you need to show up for in your life? Perhaps for the second or third time?
Provide comfort.
Enable them to dump and grieve.
Be part of their community.
👍
