The concept of grace has come up in different conversations lately, especially with my coaching clients.

Right now, I choose to give myself grace.

A little self-compassion.

It's Friday and I'm putting my Thursday Thoughts into the world.

Yup, a day late.

There was a time when I would get upset with myself. When my negative ego would have had a field day and tell me, in no uncertain terms, how much of a failure this makes me. No, it would let me know how big a failure I AM.

I've learned to notice those lies and not listen to them.

I've learned to give grace.

Sure, I wish I would have written a Thought and published it earlier.

I didn't.

And that's okay.

How about you?

Do you need to give yourself grace?

Instead of beating yourself up, choose to be kind to yourself.

Choose to ignore the critical voice in your head.

Choose forgiveness.

Give grace.

Create your life.

🍨

You should do this. You should do that.

I should do this. I should do that.

Says who?!

From where does that expectation come?

When you use language like "should" it is an indication that you might be playing the victim.

Some external entity is saying you "should" do or say something.

Saying "should" gives up your own voice.

Saying "should" gives up your ability to make a choice about what YOU want, not what somebody else wants for you.

Don't do it.

Don't should on yourself.

Instead, use language of desire, yearning, wishing, or hope.

Replace "should" with "want" and notice what changes in you and how you look at "the thing."

Claim what you want for yourself. Claim your own power.

I want to do this. I want to do that.

Maintain ownership of you and your aspirations.

Don't give it up.

Create your life.

🍨

My amazement continues.

Today marks the 208th time I've shared a Thursday Thought message.

I wanted to get my voice "out there" and decided to take a step. It seemed big and scary at the time.

Four years of weekly messages about life’s blessings, challenges, and everything in between. Inspired by what I read, listen to, observe, or somehow experience. Published on Thursdays! (usually)

I started with sending text messages to my family. God bless my wife, son, and daughter for their support! They enabled me to start sharing my voice.

After adding a few close friends and my mother (God bless our mothers!), I eventually expanded beyond text messages and when I launched my website, I built out a blog platform. With a little automation, my blog posts now go out via text, email, and get published on LinkedIn.

What are you waiting to start?

What's holding you back?

Take a small step. Ignore the fear (it's a liar).

With each little step, you get closer to your own milestones. Anticipate your own reflection of something that began 208 weeks ago.

Know that the best is yet to come.

Just get started.

Create your life.

🍨

Give yourself permission to escape from the person you were "x" years ago or even yesterday.

You're not that person anymore.

The world is evolving.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are evolving, too.

Create your life.

🍨

Where is your focus?

Stephen Covey said, "The main thing is to make the main thing the main thing."

How might you do this?

Perhaps consider a shift from Time Management to Attention Management. It doesn't matter if you "manage" your time if you allow distractions which shift your focus to other things. Where you point your attention is what gets done.

If you want to manage your attention, here are some ideas:

👉 Block off time on your calendar to focus on getting important work done.

👉 Block off time on your calendar to plan the day or week.

👉 Give yourself permission to honor and protect the time blocks you set and do not allow anything to get in the way.

👉 Turn off desktop and phone notifications or at least silence them for a period of time, especially while you enjoy focus time (above two ideas).

👉 Use a timer to apply the Pomodoro Technique (25-minutes of focused work followed by a five-minute break - take a longer 15-30 minute break after four consecutive work periods).

👉 Avoid the myth of multi-tasking - you are actually context switching and not really doing two things at once (our brains don't function that way).

💡

In addition, you might want to tell people what you're doing and why. This will enable them to know what to expect and how they might support you.

When you make the main thing the main thing, you become more effective and perhaps more efficient, too.

That means you get more done and perhaps also in less time.

It also means you get to make a choice about where you direct your focus and how you manage your attention.

Start with one of these ideas and go from there, maybe adding one every week or two.

Make the main thing the main thing.

Create your life.

🍨

Two weeks ago, I shared thoughts about stubbing our toes.

What happens after we stub our toe?

What comes next might require forgiveness, especially forgiveness of self.

A couple of nights ago, I stubbed my toe. Big time.

My negative ego took a huge leap out of the shadows and showed up in all of its ugliness.

Wowza.

Not the first time I've seen the ugly side. I'm grateful this hadn't happened in a while.

When emotions settled down, I felt horrified that it's ugliness appeared so strongly.

There was yelling.

There were tears.

I can come up with all sorts of reasons "why" and they don't change the fact that it happened.

I stumbled.

It was ugly.

I had to first forgive myself. I chose to give myself grace, knowing this is not who I am nor want to be.

Next, I had to seek forgiveness of others impacted by my behavior.

In the aftermath of stubbing our toes, the path forward may likely include forgiveness.

If you've done wrong, make it right.

Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to others.

Create your life.

🍨

A few weeks ago, I asked a former colleague for what amounted to a favor.

He was a collegiate assistant basketball coach and I was a student equipment manager. We worked together 30+ years ago, with our last contact occurring more than 25 years ago.

Bottom line, he's now a collegiate head basketball coach and I wanted my daughter to meet with his trainer because she wants to to be an athletic trainer herself. We were going to be on campus and it seemed like a good time to explore the career by talking to someone doing the work.

With nothing really to lose, I decided to reach out to the coach and ask if we could meet and talk with his trainer.

He could have said no. He said yes - which is as much a testament to him as a person as to me asking the question.

We had an amazing visit with the trainer and a graduate school student in the same program my daughter may some day join.

As an added bonus, we got to watch part of their practice!

All this because I found the courage to just ask.

👍

If you want something and never tell anyone, the odds are quite low that you will get that thing.

Maybe it's a conversation with an old colleague. Or perhaps a conversation with a new colleague.

Maybe you want someone to prepare dinner or wash the dishes.

Maybe you want a job, promotion, or raise.

Maybe you want transparency about current status.

Maybe you want a hug.

🤗

If you at least pose the question, you give yourself a chance.

What do you want?

What if you just ask?

Do it.

Use your voice.

Serve as your own advocate.

Create your life.

🍨

We generally try to walk without trouble. Right? It's something we do consistently and usually without thinking.

What happens when we stub our toe? It usually hurts for a little while, especially right after it happens. We "fail" at walking smoothly.

Similar to walking, in the rest of work and life, we sometimes fail or at least perceive it as a failure.

I recently recalled that I flunked physics my first semester in college (yikes!). Up until that point, I planned to be an attorney (too long of a story about the connection between a math degree, freshman physics and law school). That fateful grade sent me to the business school and down a very different path from when I started the journey.

Stubbing my toe in the classroom stung. I had never experienced such a "failure" in school. Had that not happened, my life would have likely turned out quite different.

When have you stubbed your toe?

Was it losing on the court, field, or pitch?

Or maybe forgetting to fully plug a laptop cord into it's power source?

Or perhaps saying something out loud that you wished you had kept to yourself?

In the split second between when you stub your toe and react, you can make a choice.

When something goes different than you want, perhaps you can laugh at yourself and the situation. That's a choice.

I'm not great at this.

I stub my toe more than I would like.

Check that, I respond different that I would like, more frequently than I would like.

How do you respond when you stub your toe?

I'm getting better at choosing my response. I dare say, my response is sometimes a developed habit, something I do without thinking.

Kinda like walking.

Create your life.

🍨

Give a Hug to Those You Love! 🤗❤️

Especially your partners and kiddos, no matter how young or old. At least call your loved and tell them you love them if you cannot physically show them.

I find it very, very easy to get caught up in the day-to-day busyness of life. I want to share a somber reminder that tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us. Let's live our best life and treat others well while we can. My cousin tragically drowned last weekend while fishing. Something he absolutely loved doing. He was only 45. Our families did a lot together growing up. As life evolved, we spent less time doing things. I hadn't talked to him or his family in several years. That's the disconnect that happens, I suppose. Now I can't talk to him.

Since hearing the news, I've tried to shower my wife and kids with more lovin' than usual. I've shed a LOT more tears than usual, too. I'm vowing, at least until the busyness takes over again, to pause, reflect, and connect with others, especially the ones I love.

Who is one person you can reach out to and touch either in person or on the phone? Start with one and see where it takes you.

Like Cody Johnson sings, let's do "the things" — 'til you can't.

Create your life.

❤️

What do you feed your brain?

Feeding your brain with positive thoughts will create positivity for you and those around you.

Feeding your brain with your strengths will help you demonstrate your strengths every day.

Feeding your brain with all the kindness you can gather will result in treating yourself and others kindly.

Our brain is a machine which creates our reality.

What reality are you creating? What do you feed your brain?

Create your life.

🍨

It's like 1, 2, 3, just as simple as can be.

Before we started hearing these lyrics from Florida Georgia Line in June, 2018, this phrase, and others like it, was around for a long time.

We might need to be careful of things that seem too simple, too easy.

When it comes to our own actions and thoughts, we might benefit if we don't make things too complicated.

By keeping things simple, we can avoid over-analyzing.

By keeping things simple, we open up more possibilities.

Keep it simple.

No need to complicate it.

Create your life.

🍨

What story are you telling yourself about a situation?

What story *could* you tell yourself? What's an alternative story?

If you take a victim's stance, the situation is happening *to* you.

Nothing you can do about it.

If you take a creator's stance, you're in the driver's seat.

Consider for a moment, what is it that you want?

How would you *like* to respond?

What would have to be different?

You get to choose how you look at things.

You can change how you view the situation.

You can change your perspective.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." (Wayne Dyer)

Create your life.

🍨

Who inspires you? 💡

For me, my father-in-law is a source of inspiration.

In the days and weeks since his wife of 60+ years passed away, he has shown amazing resiliency and desire to thrive. At almost 93 years old, he is mentally present most days and impresses with what he can recall and keep track of. He even attended a few strength and stretching activities in the place he lives.

Even before his wife died, I was impressed with his ability to laugh at himself and not take himself or others too seriously. He tells jokes better than many others. He enjoys his sweets without remorse, especially ice cream, fruit pie, and chocolate covered peanuts.

I feel inspired to follow his example.

I feel inspired to laugh more, especially at the little things.

I feel inspired to live a little more light-heartedly.

I feel inspired to enjoy the sweet things in life.

Who inspires you?

Who do you inspire?

Create your life.

🍨

When we get better ourselves, those around us get better too.

When we "do something" there is an impact on ourselves and those in our sphere of influence.

There is a by-product of our action.

When you take action, notice the impact and influence on those around you.

It will start with your closest relationships.

Then it will extend to their relationships.

And then to theirs and so on.

When you take action, your impact and influence can extend well beyond your sight.

When you take action, notice the ripple effect.

Create your life.

🍨

Yesterday we received one of the few snowfalls of this winter season. As I looked out at my backyard, I was struck by the newly fallen snow.

❄️

The view was pristine, a white blanket covering the ground and hanging from the trees.

There was a crispness in the air.

I felt a sense of new beginnings and potential. A fresh start waiting to spring.

🌳🌷

This week, I took a group of 30+ colleagues through an exercise to choose One Word to be in 2023.

They came up with words like light, present, health, growth, patience, ripples, and connection.

Their words seem a bit like the newly fallen snow, full of the promise of new beginnings.

Each person's word will help them to live intentionally this year, not by accident.

What is your word for who you want to be in 2023?

Create your life.

🍨