I found out last week.

My wife had been doing something I had no idea about.

No visibility into it at all.

For roughly a year-and-a-half!

She was feeding my daughter's brain with words that start with a hard K sound - <kuh>.

Every time my wife dropped off my teenage daughter, she would say to her:

Be Kind, Courageous, Confident, and a little Krazy.

🤪

What an amazing message?! Amiright?!

I still gleam with delight to know those are the last words my daughter heard before going into school.

Almost every day for 18 months!

How brilliant is that?!

How brilliant is my wife?!

Assertions like this, whether conveyed to us or proclaimed to ourselves, remind us who we can become and who we already are.

What do you say to yourself and/or your loved ones to affirm your and their best selves?

What might you want to say?

Feel free to "steal" these words that start with a hard K sound. 👍

Say or hear these words or your chosen words long enough and you will believe and become them.

Feed your brain.

Create your life.

"Things Can Only Get Better" by Howard Jones

Do you know this '80's song?

🎶

Things can only get better.

I was having a rough "go" last Friday afternoon with a pile of life weighing me down. It felt like a big, heavy pile. 🪨 This song played on my playlist. The timing was serendipitous. I had not hit the bottom, although I had hit a pretty low point for me. I considered this song's chorus, things CAN only get better.

I took a deep breath and started the process to change perspectives. I choose to embrace the opportunity to look at my situation in a different way. The shift took time and it started with hearing this song and making a choice.

Music has an intriguing way of influencing my life.

👉 Bringing back memories

👉 Providing motivation

👉 Increasing energy

👉 Slowing me down

👉 Helping me shift my perspective

Looking at circumstances through a different lens can shine a light on possibilities you might not otherwise consider. Some possibilities are dead ends and not what resonates with you. Most often, one possibility shines more brightly than the others. That's the one worth exploring to discover something better.

Music works for me.

What is something that helps you to change perspectives? What does it take to connect with that something?

Create your life.

🌳

Do you want a guide to help you discover alternative perspectives and explore the possibilities? Schedule time with me for a complimentary chat at https://markstaelgraeve.as.me/breakthrough.

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." - Peter Drucker, business/management expert

(This quote gets attributed to Abraham Lincoln, too.)

🎱

🔮

In December, I shared thoughts about this quote: https://www.markstaelgraeve.com/inspiration/2021/12/16/predict-the-future

I'm struck by the fact that I find myself referring to it "a lot" recently.

By "a lot" I mean I shared this quote with a handful of people during the last week.

That's a handful more than any week prior!

The quote has resonated with me for years and continues to resonate with me.

How do you create the future?

I offer that it's all about being intentional.

👍 the choices you make

👍 the media you consume

👍 the small steps you take

👍 who you aspire to be

It's a never-ending journey.

What are you doing to predict your future?

Choose to create it.

Be intentional.

You cover a lot of ground by taking one step at a time.

Create your life.

"When you say 'yes' to others, make sure you aren't saying 'no' to yourself." - Paulo Coelho

👍 and 👎

I recently felt the need to step back from some of what I was doing.

It's hard to move away from things that I am passionate about, from things that help me become who I want to be, from things that help me live my purpose.

There was just waaaay too much on my plate.

I was spread too thin.

The burden impacted me and my family.

I was not as available for myself or my family. I was working too much, busy too much.

This is a pattern I have noticed in myself from time to time and one that I am getting better at recognizing so I can break away from it's pull.

I needed to say "no" and put myself first.

In one case, I found I needed to step away entirely.

In another case, I remained involved although at lower levels than my type-A, give-it-all-you-got personality originally signed up to do.

In every case, I feared I may let others down.

However, my bigger fear was that I would let myself down if I didn't step back.

I needed to say "no" to some things.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Are you spread too thin?

Where have you said "yes" and effectively said "no" to yourself?

What do you need to say "no" to doing?

By saying "no" and stepping back, you say "yes" to yourself. You say "yes" to who you want to become.

What's keeping you from saying "yes" to you?

Create your life.

🌷

During the springtime, new beginnings exist all around us with trees growing new leaves and flowers blooming.

🎓

As I reflect on my son graduating from college, I find myself thinking about new beginnings.

It all boils down to change, really.

Change happens, whether we like it or not.

One thing ends and we transition into new beginnings.

How we choose to think about the transition will impact our experience of it.

Our mindset makes a difference.

We might approach the transition reluctantly, with fear, anxiety, sadness, and perhaps anger.

Or, we might approach the transition with confidence, satisfaction, energy, and a sense of renewal.

We get to make the choice.

We get to be intentional about how we tackle the change.

A new role in the company, a new assignment, a new request to do something or do something a certain way, a new company, a new career, a new class, a new team, a new child, a new relationship.

What new beginnings do you encounter?

How do you choose to deal with the transition?

Act according to what's important to you.

Engage with the transition.

Be intentional.

Thrive.

Create your life.

Wisdom.

🦉

That's what do you get when you combine knowledge and experience.

During the last several years, wisdom has helped me become a believer that most things happen for a reason. There are few coincidences in life.

Why did I go back to check the track team tent a few years ago when a storm was coming? Why did I change employers? Why did I stay up waaaay late into the morning preparing for my recent webinars?

Whether it's choosing a particular job, school, or friends, these choices are what we're supposed to do, where we're supposed to be.

And the people that show up are the right people.

🐝

There is also a pun here - I'm a Beeliever! That's not a misspelling.

This is a nod to my son who is graduating from college this weekend. 🎉

His school is known as the Fighting Bees.

The love any and ALL "bee" puns, including "I'm a Beeliever" which is imprinted on t-shirts we wear in support of his college marching band.

My wife and I are so proud of him and who he is becoming as a young man in our world.

🐝

What have you come to believe in your life? What choices did you make that may have appeared inconsequential at the time that you later realized were what you were supposed to do or where you were supposed to be.

The reason may not always be clear. The reason often takes time to fully evolve. Know that God has a reason and trust his plan.

Create your life.

All we need is just a little patience.

Thursday morning, I had not yet written or published this week's version of #ThursdayThoughts.

As I sat waiting for the train to take me downtown for a day in the office instead of my basement, these song lyrics popped into my head, complete with Axl Rose's "soothing" voice.

I had not taken the train or gone to the office in roughly two months.

An in-person event at work motivated me to head to the office and venture away from the relative comfort of my basement.

The minutes waiting became over an hour before a train arrived.

All we need is a little patience.

When a train did arrive, it was already over-flowing with people wanting to head downtown for work.

I could not fit on the train and was told it would be another hour until the next train might arrive.

All we need is a little patience.

I ended up walking back home and working from . . . my basement.

Later in the afternoon, determined to attend the in-person event and see my colleagues in 3D, I decided to drive downtown.

After a 75 minute car ride, I arrived at my destination (the return trip that evening took me 35 minutes).

All we need is a little patience.

The day on Friday was rather busy and as much as I wanted to write and publish what is becoming my "Saturday" Thoughts, I could not make the time for it.

All we need is a little patience.

A different Mark from my not-so-distant past would have gotten incredibly frustrated at each of these occasions, my blood pressure would have risen, and my stress level would have escalated.

Several proud moments transpired as I leaned into the patience inside me.

I say this not to boast but rather to say that with a little patience, I enjoyed my entire day, even embraced the adversity that presented itself.

I say this as confirmation that people can grow, we can evolve and choose to respond differently to unplanned events.

Does it happen this way for me all of the time? Not at all. I'm still human and get frustrated.

And yet I am grateful for my ability to show a little patience.

What about you?

When you need a little patience, notice what's going on, pause, maybe take a deep breath, then choose how you want to respond, and enjoy a little more peace.

Patience and peace.

Those are worth waiting for.

Create your life.

During a recent stint visiting college campuses, we stopped at one for which we did not have an official tour scheduled. As we arrived on campus and stared at a map, a current student approached us and asked if we wanted directions.

This act of kindness reminded me that there is goodness all around us.

Similar to a time I walked down the train platform and a person was moving slowly up the steps of the train next to mine. A person just ahead of me stopped and asked if they needed help.

At a time when so many people only seem interested in themselves, notice the good.

Notice the kindness that exists.

Be the kindness.

Hold the door open, yield in traffic, offer help, smile.

Create your life.

I've heard it (and said it) a "million" times - get some rest!

What is "rest" anyway?

Last week, rest for me meant disconnecting from the digital world. No email, limited text messages, only purposeful Internet use (e.g., getting directions).

This week, rest means sleep, including sleep during the day and going to bed when many tasks remain incomplete.

I offer up that rest means taking care of yourself.

That can be a really hard thing to do when we have deadlines to meet, research to finish, presentations to prepare, soccer games to attend, studying to do, papers to write, maybe even dinner to cook.

I'm reminded this week, in particular, that we need to take care of ourselves.

We need to rest.

Taking rest:

👍 Makes the challenges easier

👍 Helps prepare you for what's next (whatever that might be)

👍 Gives you a fresh perspective

👍 Recharges your battery and gives you energy

👍 Promotes healing

What does "rest" look like for you?

When is the last time you took rest?

Make the hard decision to take some rest.

You will be grateful that you did!

Create your life.

We measure many things by milestones.

I'm amazed, really. A three year milestone!

Today marks the 156th time I've shared a Thursday Thought message.

Three years of weekly messages about life’s blessings, challenges, and everything in between. Inspired by what I read, listen to, observe, or somehow experience. Published on Thursdays! (usually)

I started with sending text messages to my family. God bless them for their support! They enabled me to start sharing my voice.

After adding a few friends and my mother (God bless our mothers!), I eventually expanded beyond text messages and started sending them via email and publishing them on my website and LinkedIn.

What are you waiting to start?

What's holding you back?

Take a small step. Ignore the fear (it's a liar).

With each little step, you get closer to your own milestones.

Know that the best is yet to come.

Just get started.

Create your life.

🙌

Stay positive.

Have fun.

Be nice to yourself.

Give yourself a chance to be great.

Create your life.

🙌

When we commit, we agree to do something fully, not just picking and choosing the easy bits.

We cannot predict nor control the complexities that might arise or obstacles we may face.

We CAN commit to taking action and adjusting our behavior based on what we learn.

Commit to small things and bigger things will follow.

Commitment is about dedication to doing our best.

Commitment is about dedication to becoming the best version of ourselves.

What is your commitment today and this week?

Create your life.

Are you willing to open your mind? Are you open to the possibilities that might exist?

Be open to:

🌷 other perspectives, especially opposing perspectives.

🌷 ideas regardless of their source.

🌷 other ways of doing things.

🌷 working with others.

🌷 sharing your challenges and asking for help.

🌷 changing direction based on new information.

Allow yourself to be surprised by what you may discover from your openness.

Create your life.

What does focus mean in your life today or this week?

Perhaps focus means:

👉 splitting what you have to do into small pieces so you can complete each in a short amount of time.

👉 giving all of your attention to only one thing at a time.

👉 removing distractions so you can finish what needs to be done.

👉 creating more clarity in your perception of a problem to solve.

Whatever it might mean to you right here and now, give focus to something and see how much you can accomplish.

You might delight yourself!

Create your life.

🍀

Have you ever taken a day off from work to attend your child's activity?

I wish I did more of it when my kids were younger.

Sure, I attended their events and carved out an hour or two here and there. I rarely took a full day off.

Work was "too important" and I could not "afford the time."

This translated to me missing out on some of life's happenings.

Thankfully, my perspective has changed over the last several years.

What changed?

I became more aware of what's important to me.

I became aware of how much I value my family and spending time with them.

I chose to put my values first. I chose to put my family first.

In the past (and sometimes in the present) I would "say" family was important and yet my actions did not always align.

This week, I had the pleasure of witnessing my daughter's excellence (like her brother's before her).

She created a documentary for her high school history class and was one of a handful of students in her class to qualify for the city-wide history fair.

I took the day off to provide encouragement and support.

Of course, she didn't need it!

Did I miss out on "stuff" at work? Maybe. Most likely not.

Did I enjoy a day with my daughter and my wife (who also took the day off)? Absolutely!

I did not want to miss out on sharing the adventure.

I made an intentional choice to take the day off. This aligned with my values.

What's important to you?

Do you make intentional choices based on your values?

When you align your choices with your values, when you put your values first, you get more fulfillment out of your time on earth.

Don't miss out. Make the choice to enjoy what's important while you can.

Create your life.

🍀