I'm tired.

I have a pattern of over-scheduling myself.

I last visited this place roughly two months ago.

I'm there again.

😔

I need to say "no" to something(s) and say "yes" to myself.

I want to put myself first.

It's hard for me to say "no" when I'm passionate about those things to which I say "yes."

I give myself permission to say "No."

I just wrote that on a sticky note and attached it to my monitor.

Brene Brown talks about giving ourselves permission slips with their primary function to serve as explicit intention setting.

Are you also a high-achiever struggling to say "no" to things?

Consider the intention you want to set.

For what do you want to give yourself a permission slip?

Create your life.

"You learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." --Plato

👍

I "received" this on a bottle cap recently.

If you have been following along this year, you know my word for the year is playful. See the P.S. in this post: https://www.markstaelgraeve.com/inspiration/2022/1/6/possibilities.

As I check-in with myself and reflect on the first half of the year, I want more playfulness, less seriousness, and more play time.

For me, play time includes (but is not limited to):

👉 game night with the family

👉 platform tennis

👉 solving the daily Wordle puzzle

👉 putting together LEGO toys

👉 going to the ice cream shop

👉 going for a bike ride

👉 experimenting in the kitchen

👉 assembling a jigsaw puzzle

What I have learned about myself through play:

🎯 I am fond of challenges, physical and intellectual

🎯 I fancy focusing my brain on something other than a computer screen

🎯 I value time with my family, especially when we laugh together

🎯 I have a competitive streak and like to win (but not at all costs)

What does play time look like for you?

What do you learn about yourself through play? What do you learn about others?

Don't forget to have conversations. 🙂

Remember to make time for play and notice what you learn about yourself and others.

Create your life.

Mainstream media and politicians seem to want us to believe that we are more different than we are alike.

😲

Whenever I travel, especially internationally, I appreciate that the opposite is true.

There is truth that we sound different and look different.

There is also truth that we are really much more alike than different.

✈️

My family and I spent the last two weeks in Belgium and the Netherlands.

Here are a few of my observations that provide evidence that we are quite similar, regardless of speech, skin color, or where we live.

✅ We run for trains.

✅ We hold hands as a sign of affection.

✅ We appreciate art, architecture, history, and ice cream.

✅ We want the best for those in our care, as a host or a loved one.

✅ Seeing someone after time apart results in a joyous, sometimes tearful embrace.

✅ People on an over-crowded train will give up their seat for a woman with a young child.

✅ Siblings get into each other's business (some may say "fight" with each other).

✅ We use dance as a way to express our culture and heritage.

✅ We smile. And laugh.

😁

Truth is, we are all human beings at our core.

Our humanity is a bind that connects us all, forever and always.

What evidence do you see that humans are more alike than different?

Let's focus on what we have in common.

Embrace our similarities and we will witness more peace, more joy, more kindness, more getting along.

Create your life.

Ask questions.

Show people you care about them.

Don't worry about sharing a "better" story or "better" experience.

Be you.

Create your life.

Motivation comes and goes. It's great to feel motivated and be motivated. You won't always be motivated. You won't always feel energetic. You won't always feel willing to do what it takes to be successful. Fall back on your discipline.

Do what you need to do to be successful whether you feel motivated or not. Get out of bed in the morning, eat well, go for a walk, run, or workout.

Take the steps necessary to get what you want.

Create your life.

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion." ~ Paulo Coelho

✔️

Author Paulo Coelho reminds us that talk (and opinions) come cheap.

What's priceless is the example of human-being you are continually broadcasting, even louder than your words.

You have such power to positively affect the way things go by the example you set.

By the way you take in the complexity of the situation.

By the way you attend to the best outcome for all.

By the way you observe the dimensionality of what's really happening.

And many more ways.

Think about the world changing potential of your example.

And watch what's getting set.

Create your life.

.

(borrowed from "Inspiration for Agile Coaches")

I found out last week.

My wife had been doing something I had no idea about.

No visibility into it at all.

For roughly a year-and-a-half!

She was feeding my daughter's brain with words that start with a hard K sound - <kuh>.

Every time my wife dropped off my teenage daughter, she would say to her:

Be Kind, Courageous, Confident, and a little Krazy.

🤪

What an amazing message?! Amiright?!

I still gleam with delight to know those are the last words my daughter heard before going into school.

Almost every day for 18 months!

How brilliant is that?!

How brilliant is my wife?!

Assertions like this, whether conveyed to us or proclaimed to ourselves, remind us who we can become and who we already are.

What do you say to yourself and/or your loved ones to affirm your and their best selves?

What might you want to say?

Feel free to "steal" these words that start with a hard K sound. 👍

Say or hear these words or your chosen words long enough and you will believe and become them.

Feed your brain.

Create your life.

"Things Can Only Get Better" by Howard Jones

Do you know this '80's song?

🎶

Things can only get better.

I was having a rough "go" last Friday afternoon with a pile of life weighing me down. It felt like a big, heavy pile. 🪨 This song played on my playlist. The timing was serendipitous. I had not hit the bottom, although I had hit a pretty low point for me. I considered this song's chorus, things CAN only get better.

I took a deep breath and started the process to change perspectives. I choose to embrace the opportunity to look at my situation in a different way. The shift took time and it started with hearing this song and making a choice.

Music has an intriguing way of influencing my life.

👉 Bringing back memories

👉 Providing motivation

👉 Increasing energy

👉 Slowing me down

👉 Helping me shift my perspective

Looking at circumstances through a different lens can shine a light on possibilities you might not otherwise consider. Some possibilities are dead ends and not what resonates with you. Most often, one possibility shines more brightly than the others. That's the one worth exploring to discover something better.

Music works for me.

What is something that helps you to change perspectives? What does it take to connect with that something?

Create your life.

🌳

Do you want a guide to help you discover alternative perspectives and explore the possibilities? Schedule time with me for a complimentary chat at https://markstaelgraeve.as.me/breakthrough.

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." - Peter Drucker, business/management expert

(This quote gets attributed to Abraham Lincoln, too.)

🎱

🔮

In December, I shared thoughts about this quote: https://www.markstaelgraeve.com/inspiration/2021/12/16/predict-the-future

I'm struck by the fact that I find myself referring to it "a lot" recently.

By "a lot" I mean I shared this quote with a handful of people during the last week.

That's a handful more than any week prior!

The quote has resonated with me for years and continues to resonate with me.

How do you create the future?

I offer that it's all about being intentional.

👍 the choices you make

👍 the media you consume

👍 the small steps you take

👍 who you aspire to be

It's a never-ending journey.

What are you doing to predict your future?

Choose to create it.

Be intentional.

You cover a lot of ground by taking one step at a time.

Create your life.

"When you say 'yes' to others, make sure you aren't saying 'no' to yourself." - Paulo Coelho

👍 and 👎

I recently felt the need to step back from some of what I was doing.

It's hard to move away from things that I am passionate about, from things that help me become who I want to be, from things that help me live my purpose.

There was just waaaay too much on my plate.

I was spread too thin.

The burden impacted me and my family.

I was not as available for myself or my family. I was working too much, busy too much.

This is a pattern I have noticed in myself from time to time and one that I am getting better at recognizing so I can break away from it's pull.

I needed to say "no" and put myself first.

In one case, I found I needed to step away entirely.

In another case, I remained involved although at lower levels than my type-A, give-it-all-you-got personality originally signed up to do.

In every case, I feared I may let others down.

However, my bigger fear was that I would let myself down if I didn't step back.

I needed to say "no" to some things.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Are you spread too thin?

Where have you said "yes" and effectively said "no" to yourself?

What do you need to say "no" to doing?

By saying "no" and stepping back, you say "yes" to yourself. You say "yes" to who you want to become.

What's keeping you from saying "yes" to you?

Create your life.

🌷

During the springtime, new beginnings exist all around us with trees growing new leaves and flowers blooming.

🎓

As I reflect on my son graduating from college, I find myself thinking about new beginnings.

It all boils down to change, really.

Change happens, whether we like it or not.

One thing ends and we transition into new beginnings.

How we choose to think about the transition will impact our experience of it.

Our mindset makes a difference.

We might approach the transition reluctantly, with fear, anxiety, sadness, and perhaps anger.

Or, we might approach the transition with confidence, satisfaction, energy, and a sense of renewal.

We get to make the choice.

We get to be intentional about how we tackle the change.

A new role in the company, a new assignment, a new request to do something or do something a certain way, a new company, a new career, a new class, a new team, a new child, a new relationship.

What new beginnings do you encounter?

How do you choose to deal with the transition?

Act according to what's important to you.

Engage with the transition.

Be intentional.

Thrive.

Create your life.

Wisdom.

🦉

That's what do you get when you combine knowledge and experience.

During the last several years, wisdom has helped me become a believer that most things happen for a reason. There are few coincidences in life.

Why did I go back to check the track team tent a few years ago when a storm was coming? Why did I change employers? Why did I stay up waaaay late into the morning preparing for my recent webinars?

Whether it's choosing a particular job, school, or friends, these choices are what we're supposed to do, where we're supposed to be.

And the people that show up are the right people.

🐝

There is also a pun here - I'm a Beeliever! That's not a misspelling.

This is a nod to my son who is graduating from college this weekend. 🎉

His school is known as the Fighting Bees.

The love any and ALL "bee" puns, including "I'm a Beeliever" which is imprinted on t-shirts we wear in support of his college marching band.

My wife and I are so proud of him and who he is becoming as a young man in our world.

🐝

What have you come to believe in your life? What choices did you make that may have appeared inconsequential at the time that you later realized were what you were supposed to do or where you were supposed to be.

The reason may not always be clear. The reason often takes time to fully evolve. Know that God has a reason and trust his plan.

Create your life.

All we need is just a little patience.

Thursday morning, I had not yet written or published this week's version of #ThursdayThoughts.

As I sat waiting for the train to take me downtown for a day in the office instead of my basement, these song lyrics popped into my head, complete with Axl Rose's "soothing" voice.

I had not taken the train or gone to the office in roughly two months.

An in-person event at work motivated me to head to the office and venture away from the relative comfort of my basement.

The minutes waiting became over an hour before a train arrived.

All we need is a little patience.

When a train did arrive, it was already over-flowing with people wanting to head downtown for work.

I could not fit on the train and was told it would be another hour until the next train might arrive.

All we need is a little patience.

I ended up walking back home and working from . . . my basement.

Later in the afternoon, determined to attend the in-person event and see my colleagues in 3D, I decided to drive downtown.

After a 75 minute car ride, I arrived at my destination (the return trip that evening took me 35 minutes).

All we need is a little patience.

The day on Friday was rather busy and as much as I wanted to write and publish what is becoming my "Saturday" Thoughts, I could not make the time for it.

All we need is a little patience.

A different Mark from my not-so-distant past would have gotten incredibly frustrated at each of these occasions, my blood pressure would have risen, and my stress level would have escalated.

Several proud moments transpired as I leaned into the patience inside me.

I say this not to boast but rather to say that with a little patience, I enjoyed my entire day, even embraced the adversity that presented itself.

I say this as confirmation that people can grow, we can evolve and choose to respond differently to unplanned events.

Does it happen this way for me all of the time? Not at all. I'm still human and get frustrated.

And yet I am grateful for my ability to show a little patience.

What about you?

When you need a little patience, notice what's going on, pause, maybe take a deep breath, then choose how you want to respond, and enjoy a little more peace.

Patience and peace.

Those are worth waiting for.

Create your life.

During a recent stint visiting college campuses, we stopped at one for which we did not have an official tour scheduled. As we arrived on campus and stared at a map, a current student approached us and asked if we wanted directions.

This act of kindness reminded me that there is goodness all around us.

Similar to a time I walked down the train platform and a person was moving slowly up the steps of the train next to mine. A person just ahead of me stopped and asked if they needed help.

At a time when so many people only seem interested in themselves, notice the good.

Notice the kindness that exists.

Be the kindness.

Hold the door open, yield in traffic, offer help, smile.

Create your life.

I've heard it (and said it) a "million" times - get some rest!

What is "rest" anyway?

Last week, rest for me meant disconnecting from the digital world. No email, limited text messages, only purposeful Internet use (e.g., getting directions).

This week, rest means sleep, including sleep during the day and going to bed when many tasks remain incomplete.

I offer up that rest means taking care of yourself.

That can be a really hard thing to do when we have deadlines to meet, research to finish, presentations to prepare, soccer games to attend, studying to do, papers to write, maybe even dinner to cook.

I'm reminded this week, in particular, that we need to take care of ourselves.

We need to rest.

Taking rest:

👍 Makes the challenges easier

👍 Helps prepare you for what's next (whatever that might be)

👍 Gives you a fresh perspective

👍 Recharges your battery and gives you energy

👍 Promotes healing

What does "rest" look like for you?

When is the last time you took rest?

Make the hard decision to take some rest.

You will be grateful that you did!

Create your life.