We live in a pass or fail culture. Many of us live in absolutes, it's all or nothing, black or white.

🔹 Did you get a raise or promotion? If not, you failed.

🔹 Did you get an A+? If not, you failed.

🔹 Did you win the deal or make the sale? If not, you failed.

🔹 Did you "get" the girl? If not, you failed.

These are the messages our culture would lead us to believe. We learn at at early age that you get measured by your outputs and accomplishments (especially high-achieving men).

One alternative is to refrain from labeling experiences as a pass or fail and simply learn from them. Did you get a raise? Amazing! What can you keep doing that lead to that benefit? If the raise didn't come (yet) and it's something you truly want, where can you grow so you earn that recognition?

Shift your perspective and you will realize there is a whole lot of space in between the extremes where you can thrive!

Create your life.

Society teaches us, especially as men, to "deal with it" or "grin and bear it."

Grind is defined as dreary, monotonous, or difficult labor, study, or routine (source: Merriam-Webster dictionary online).

How often have you said to yourself or said to another or had it said to you, "keep your nose to the grindstone!"

You get up, day after day, follow the same routine. Nothing. Ever. Changes.

You might feel stuck and unable to break free, you're the "provider" after all, it's your "job" to put food on the table and a roof over your heads.

Maybe you want to create something new, so you wake up early or stay up late and in the process, get less sleep and do more.

The grind gets worse.

Could you make a tradeoff? Instead of adding more, what if you also took something away?

Connect with your inner strength, that part of you that knows what lights you up and recognizes when the spark exists.

Make intentional choices about where you spend your time and energy.

Perhaps you skip the television at the end of the night to work on your project, read a book, or go to sleep.

If you take small, intentional steps, you can break away from the grind, regain some balance, and feel reinvigorated.

Create your life.

We all experience change throughout life. Sometimes change can be a challenge or undesirable - such as the death of a loved one or working from home during a pandemic. Other times the change is straightforward or something we choose - such as taking a new route to the store to avoid construction or waking up early twice a week to exercise.

Whether hard or easy, lean into the change. Embrace it as an opportunity to learn, to become a better person, and to grow.

Perhaps you will discover your loved one served more people and touched more lives than you ever knew.

Or you will learn to be more patient as you find ways to share a house normally occupied by less people during the day.

Or you will travel alongside a stream you did not know existed and appreciate its simplicity and beauty.

Or you will notice you have more energy during the workday.

Embrace change and you will shift toward the person you are meant to be.

Create your life.

I've had enough and I want out!

We get SO busy sometimes. Perhaps you find yourself wondering how it all started. It's easy to get caught up in the "rat race" - doing more, saying "yes" to more, chasing after more.

In the process, you lose touch with who you are or who you want to be.

At the end of your life, heck, five years from now, 10 years from now, will you look back and say, "I created something, I created that, I did that - and it mattered."

Or will you look back and say, "Phew, I made it to the end and got through it. I survived."

Identify what matters and make intentional choices. Stop piling on more stuff just so you can continue the race.

You can't walk away now!

Are you creating life or just getting through life?

Create your life.

I recently saw this on the inside of a Dove chocolate wrapper. (mmmm, chocolate!) What does it say to you? 

I hear two things - be you and you are beautiful. At the center, literally and figuratively, is YOU! Be yourself. Be authentic. You are beautiful, inside and out. Yes, that is a cliche and I believe one that is true.

So today and during the next week, take off your mask and let your beautiful self shine! Be you!

Create your life.

Why do we spend so much time worrying about, paying attention to, or dealing with the silly, stupid, sh#t?!

Sometimes, that might appear as the easy path to take. The comfortable path. The unconscious path. I notice this when I get lazy or pretend I do not care or that something does not matter. Or when I'm burned out.

Instead of handling the silly, stupid, sh#t, I want more vibrancy! That can start with accepting myself and what is. Perhaps learning to embrace the gray. Maybe even taking small steps and going out of my comfort zone.

Doing something that kicks me out of the spiral.

Something that will shift the balance toward worrying about, paying attention to, and dealing with powerful, meaningful, goodness.

That's where I want to spend my energy!

Where do you want to spend your energy?

Create your life.

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

How much would your perspective change if you considered everything as an opportunity rather than a requirement?

Instead of saying you *have* to do something, change your words and say you *get* to do something. 

I get to go to work.

I get to go to school.

I get to wake up early to workout.

I get to make dinner.

I get to go for a walk.

I get to read a book.

I get to [fill in the blank].

Life is full of opportunities that we *get* to do. It all depends on your perspective.

What is it that you get to do?

Create your life.

What are the big rocks in your life?

Do you make time for your big rocks or fill in the space with small rocks and sand?

As you look forward to what remains in this year, consider your big rocks.

What do you need to do to make room for what is important to you?

Choose to make room for your big rocks.

Create your life.

As you simply notice your Gremlin, your Saboteur, the negative voice inside your head, think about responding by adding "yet" to the sentence.

You're not fast enough...yet.

Not smart enough...yet.

You will get there.

Stay positive and keep getting better.

The "yet" will turn into you realizing and saying, I am fast, I am smart, I am beautiful, I am positive, I am delightful to be around, I am a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day, I am enough.

Create your life.

Do you hear it? That little voice inside your head. Does it say you're not fast enough? Not smart enough? Not pretty enough? Not old enough? Not young enough? Is it telling you that you're ... not enough?

That's your Gremlin speaking. Your saboteur. It wants you to believe you're not enough. It wants to squelch the vibrancy inside you. It is intent on making you miserable.

Don't listen to it.

Don't listen to the chatty voice inside your head.

Begin to simply notice your Gremlin. The source of your negatives thoughts.

You are not your Gremlin, only it's observer. 

Simply notice the chatter. Become aware. 

Create your life.

Argh! Tell them to BE QUIET already!

Do the voices in "your" head get as loud as the voices in "my" head? As a recovering perfectionist, my internal voices like to tell me that I'm not enough.

Not creative enough. Not smart enough. Not fast enough. Not good enough. Not <blank> enough.

Do you tell yourself similar things?

Of course, it's all lies.

Truth is, You Are Enough!

Putting it in first person framing, I Am Enough!

I might make this a new mantra - I am enough. You are enough. We are ALL enough.

When those yappy voices start sounding off, remind yourself, I am enough. Regularly tell yourself, I am enough. Really believe it, I am enough.

Because You ARE enough.

Create your life.

We enjoy receiving gifts. We enjoy receiving compliments. There is so much for which to be thankful.

We also receive pleasure and get satisfaction when we give to others. Sometimes we might even welcome giving more than receiving. 

Knowing your gift will make a difference to the recipient.... Perhaps seeing how people react to your gift....

We can experience real joy in giving. It might be as simple as a smile. It could be a compliment or it could be much larger.

Remember to give.

Create your life.

Big actions show quick results that fade over time.

Little things done over and over, day after day, add up and become big things over time.

Whether it's your diet, working out, running, drinking more water, or smiling more. Focus on doing the little things consistently over time to produce meaningful results.

Create your life.

This question does not have to be overwhelming. It helps me to feel less overwhelmed to think small and break it down, even down to the current week, this day, this moment.

Start by deciding how hard you will work.

Start by deciding what you need to do.

Take baby steps to make it happen. 

Keep practicing, keep taking one step after another, and keep getting better at it.

Decide to be GREAT!

Create your life.

In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

I attended a friend's funeral this week who died in a tragic accident. Another friend pointed out this is a reminder. Memento Mori. We never know how many moments we have left on this earth. Each moment is a gift.

The point is not to be morbid, but to share a reminder, perhaps inspire you, to live a meaningful life. Oh, and remember to tell people you love them or better, show them. ❤

How are you spending your moments?

Are you living your best life?

Create your life.